Two Steps Back
by emmablk1
Summary: James is going to be stuck with Lily for the entire summer. What seems to be a good thing isn't, as cats transform into humans and bodies begin switching. Also, there's a party. With all these distractions, will James and Lily ever end up together?
1. Chapter 1

Two Steps Back: Chapter 1

(A/N: This takes place the day after the scene from OotP, pages 647-649. Reference as needed.)

* * *

_Sweat seemed to pour down James Potter's forehead as he rounded the corner towards his starting point. It was all up to him now. He was the only one able to get this far, something he was extremely proud of- too proud of sometimes. Maybe that was something he should have considered before he'd gotten involved in this. He flinched, letting the feelings of shame wash over him and then let them go. _

_All he had to do was get through this last task. It was his burden and he was willing to carry it. James placed himself in starting position on track and tried to wipe some of the sweat off his forehead. Dimly he could see the stadium in the background, his fans whispering excitedly and waiting impatiently for the starting flare. A hush came over the crowd when Dumbledore raised his wand. James counted silently in his head, not aware of the other boys standing beside him wanting this glory as much as he did._

_One._

_Time was slowing down, turning the world around him blurry as everyone counted the numbers together._

_Two._

_James lost his focus for a split second, moving his eyes away from the finish line and towards the Quiddich stadium seats. He could see Sirius, Peter, and Remus beaming proudly from the first row. Instead of pulling his eyes back to the goal, he stopped to search for a certain redhead who should have been sitting somewhere by the other marauders, smiling broadly, her mind only thinking of how fit he was and how much she didn't deserve him._

_Three._

_He wasn't ready for the red flare bursting from the wand, shooting into the air with a hundred sparks flying everywhere. He was able to make his foot move to begin running, but instantly the other runners were strides ahead of him and he knew there was no way for him to try to catch up._

_Then there was the road block. It was only in his lane and was too large to jump over. It was Lily._

_Her face was contorted into rage, turning bright red. "You think you're all that, James Potter? Take a look at yourself in the mirror! Maybe it could do you some good!" she hissed, throwing a hand mirror at him and narrowly missing his face. James caught it, falling backwards._

_He expected to hit the hard ground on the field and have the wind knocked out of him, but instead he landed on his bed in the dormitory. He was still holding the mirror. Cautiously he turned it over, letting the reflected side lean face up. It reflected the ceiling, but nothing else._

_James was too scared to look. Anything Lily told him to do would have serious repercussions. Gathering up his courage, he held it up to his face. But it wasn't his face that was reflected. It was Sirius'._

"_James, you shouldn't do anything you might regret," The mirror-Sirius told him, a smirk on his face in typical Sirius fashion. "You should leave Lily to me. She's never liked you anyways." _

_James threw the mirror at the wall, enjoying the shattered glass and the destruction of Sirius' words. Now, though, it was coming right at his face. He could feel the sharp glass tearing at his skin and watched his own blood flow from the wounds. It ran down his face, like red tears. _

_There was no pain. He could feel nothing at all, in fact. Then Lily stepped in front of him. He wasn't sitting on his bed anymore. This room was blank, completely white. It seemed to go on for eternity. _

_Lily was smiling, walking toward him in a way that made his heart clatter against his rib cage. He was suddenly aware of his physical appearance, slightly embarrassed that Lily saw him this way. Gently, Lily placed her hands on his face. When she touched him every bleeding gash healed. For a moment James swore Lily was about to kiss him. _

_Her hands moved to his chest and she smiled even wider. James could feel himself smiling too, but it suddenly turned into an expression of pain when her nails began to dig into him._

_James cried out as Lily's nails dug deeper into his flesh. Within seconds her hand was wrapped around his heart, ripping every vein from it, letting him hear every pop. When the red thing finally came out of his chest she surveyed it, a little glimmer of amusement in her eyes._

"_Funny," she whispered as James began to writhe on the ground. "I didn't think you had one of these." She glanced at it again before dropping it and stepping on it, sinking a heel into its center. "Guess you don't need it anyways, right Jamesie?"_

_

* * *

  
_

James Potter sat bolt upright in his bed, soaked through with sweat. Dreams weren't supposed to be that real. His chest hurt just remembering it. And what the bloody hell was that race at the beginning? None of his dreams ever made sense. But he was spooked nonetheless.

It was still dark outside the window. The others were asleep and James could hear Sirius' snoring from across the room. Panting heavily, he swung off the bed and stumbled into the bathroom.

The light blinded him for a moment before he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Thank goodness he didn't look a thing like Sirius. There were no scars, either. His heart was obviously beating, so apparently he had nothing left to worry about.

Except what he had done to Lily. Merlin, she was never going to forgive him after when he had done now.

It was his brainless stupidity by the lake after exams yesterday. It was just a bad day, that's all. Well, that and the fact that his ego was even more swollen than normal, that he was stressed out from the exams, that he only had one more chance to get Lily to like him before the summer, and…well…he could blame it on the planets that weren't in line that day, but it still didn't change the fact that Lily was going to hate him forever.

* * *

"What're you so nervous about, Jamesie-Poo?" Sirius Black glanced at his best friend who kept staring out the window of the Hogwarts train every six seconds. "Lily won't hate you forever."

"Just for eternity," Remus said without taking his eyes off of his book. Peter laughed uproariously at the joke. The others looked at him with their eyebrows raised. He stopped laughing instantly.

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned back to the problem at hand. "Anyway, it's not as if we did anything new to Snivellus yesterday." He pointed out, pulling out his wand and flicking it through the air, miming James taking off Snape's pants in front of everyone.

"Admit it," he showed his infamous grin that he only used when he was certain that he was right. "You enjoy showing off in front of Lily just a little too much," He paused to make sure James was listening to him, already knowing that he had Remus' and Peter's attention. "It's not just the fact that Lily's watching; it's that everyone else is too."

Remus gave Sirius a look and then checked the title of the book he was reading, Magic Psychology to Use on Your Friends! "That's it," he sighed, throwing the book into a bag that sat next to him. "I'm never letting you borrow one of my books again, Padfoot."

James ignored them all. The only reason he had gotten on the train so early was to make sure that he caught Lily before she avoided him for the rest of the summer. Without thinking, he rubbed his chin, giving the impression that he was thinking very hard. In fact, the only thing he was wondering was if he happened to catch a glimpse of red hair flying in between the other kids lolling about the train platform.

He was so close to the window now that his nose was pressed against it, leaving a slightly greasy mark. It reminded him even more of what they had done yesterday. James' eyes were beginning to hurt as he continued to stare. Just as he thought he saw Lily, he was suddenly aware that the compartment was eerily silent. Slowly he turned his head around and saw that Sirius and Remus weren't there anymore and Peter was sitting casually with a magazine in his hands.

"Where are Remus and Sirius?" he asked Peter suspiciously. Peter looked up nervously and James could almost see the lie trying to form in his head.

"R-Remus?" he stuttered, his eyes bouncing around the room, trying not look directly into James' eyes. "I…uh…think he mentioned something about finding some chocolate…" Peter quickly turned back to his magazine and pretended to be very interested in an article about Herbology.

"And you expect me to believe that Sirius followed him like a good puppy?" James asked, knowing exactly where Sirius most likely was.

"Um…er…uh…" Peter's hands were visibly shaking, scared that he was going to get in trouble with either Sirius or James.

James stood up, half smiling. "Don't worry. I'm a resourceful chap; I think I know where to find him." In a couple of strides, he reached the compartment door, but right as he reached it, it opened for him.

Lily stood in the doorway, arms folded across her chest, her red hair gleaming in the morning light. The only motor function that James could control was his mouth, which instantly dropped at the sight of her. She was still mad at him, obviously.

"Sirius said you wanted to tell me something?" Lily inquired, raising an eyebrow, succeeding in making her look even more imposing. James' eyes swiftly glanced behind her and made a promise to himself to kill Sirius later. Sirius just waved carelessly at him, hiding behind Lily. "Potter?" she asked sharply, jolting him out of imagining himself dismembering Padfoot.

James swallowed hard and tried to speak without looking as if he were completely scared of her at this moment. "Yeah, I guess," he squeaked, then brought his voice back to the land of puberty. There was a silence in which Sirius coughed loudly from the corridor, trying to help by making hand gestures to tell James what to say.

"My…my parents…uh…are…inviting?" Sirius got distracted and began to make puppet shadows in the sunlight streaming into the hallway. James gave Sirius a look to tell him to stop goofing off and give him a real answer Lily would believe.

"Inviting me?" Now she was really confused. "To what, pray tell; a let's-beat-up-Severus-Snape-party?"

"Actually, that wouldn't be such a bad idea…" Sirius thought aloud. Remus, who was standing beside him holding some chocolate, elbowed him in the ribs.

James took the lie into his own hands while Sirius dreamed of a place that only existed in his mind. "My parents are inviting your whole family to go with us on our tour of the world this summer." He quickly spat out, thinking suddenly of the trip that his parents were taking for their anniversary.

Lily looked surprised, to say the least. For once she let her guard down and uncrossed her arms. "I…I guess I'll have to ask mum and dad," she said unexpectedly, surprising even herself. "But I'm not promising anything." With that, she glanced quickly at his face and turned silently down the hallway.

James' ego got the best of him. "Oh, and Lily?" he called after her, sticking his head of the door to make sure she heard him. "We're going muggle-style, so maybe we'll even get to share a room at one of those things you call hotels?" Lily's face burned with anger and embarrassment. She opened her mouth to tell him off, thought seriously of hexing him, and finally decided to stomp off angrily in the other direction.

"One step forward and two steps back…" Remus muttered as he walked back into the room in front of Sirius.

"What's that supposed to mean?" James roared slamming the door shut before Sirius had a chance to walk in.

"Nothing," Remus said nonchalantly, sitting back down to pick up yet another book he magically pulled from inside his robes.

"Hello?" Sirius called from out in the hall, but everyone ignored him. "Uh…The dog's still in the corridor…" he gently rapped on the door, but no one moved to open it. There was the sound of him shaking the handle, but James pointed his wand and locked it before Sirius had the chance to open it.

"Moony…" James threatened, turning back around and narrowing his eyes.

Remus sighed and barely looked up from his book. "I only meant that you never let Lily stay happy with you." James' eyes instantly went huge and round.

"What does THAT supposed to mean?"

"Why is the door locked on the outside, anyway?" Sirius called sarcastically, pulling as hard as he could on the door. "It opened for Lily, for Merlin's sake…why is it less than five minutes later it won't open for Padfoot?"

"SHUT UP, PADFOOT!" James roared from the inside.

An hour later, Sirius was still sitting outside, bouncing spells off of the window, trying to hit the Slytherins in the car next to them.

Sirius sighed. "It's going to be a long summer…"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

* * *

"Cheer up, Jamesie!" Sirius tried to encourage his friend as they got off the Hogwarts Express. "It's not as if it's the end of the world or anything." Sirius stopped on the platform as he caught sight of his best friend's face. "On second thought, maybe it is."

"Shut up," James muttered, but not with nearly as much energy as he usually would. His mind was still reeling from the encounter with Lily on the train that had just possibly sent his entire relationship with her down the drain.

Remus shoved past Sirius and laughed. "Be careful, Padfoot, or he might reconsider having us over for the summer!" James said nothing, but mumbled something that sounded vaguely rude under his breath.

"Like spending the entire train ride stuck outside in the hallway wasn't enough torture," Sirius sighed dramatically, putting his hand to his forehead as if he were about to faint. Peter laughed as he bounced off the steps onto the platform.

James glanced around nervously, as if maybe Lily would suddenly materialize from around the corner somewhere and kill him. Realizing that Peter was talking, he began to tune in. "…parents really going on that trip without you?" Remus caught James' dazed expression.

"Sorry you couldn't come Peter, but we understand," Remus said sympathetically. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, we're real sorry that your mum is overprotective and won't let you come just because we'll be all alone in James' big old house all summer long while his parents have the time of their lives." He snorted at his own sarcasm. "By the by, Prongsie, have you decided on how to tell Lily when she comes to spend the summer with us-"

"Which she will," Remus added.

"-that your parents are never going to let all of us go with them and we'll be spending the entire summer alone with her whether she likes it or not?" Sirius finished.

"And that she'll have to stay there whether she likes it or not-" Remus continued, enjoying berating James alongside Sirius.

"Which she won't," Sirius cut in.

"-no matter what you told her on the train when you were tongue-tied and trying to impress her at the same time."

"You did quite well in divination, did you?" Sirius asked, totally off topic.

"Quite."

"Good, because I keep having this reoccurring dream where girls are chasing after me down the corridors and I can't seem to shake them off."

"Sirius, that happened just last week." Peter explained, spotting his parents and waving goodbye. Sirius and Remus waved back, but James didn't notice that Peter was leaving. He was trying his best to ignore Remus and Sirius' stupid banter while twirling his wand in his hands.

"By the way, are we ever going to be leaving?" Sirius asked with feigned curiosity. At this, James pouted, beginning to prepare what he was going to say to his mother and father.

"I have to wait for my parents to come get me." James sulkily said, putting his wand back in his robes.

"Aw, poor baby can't do magic outside of school?" Sirius teased, pointing his own wand at James' hair and making it turn bright pink.

"Stop it!" James pushed him away, already mad enough at Sirius.

Remus sighed and quickly changed James' hair back to normal, rolling his eyes. "You two are acting like you're three." He sounded agitated, but the beginning of a smile had crossed his lips.

"I guess there's nothing to do now but wait." Sirius said and the three stood in silence for a moment before James spotted someone and quickly turned around.

"Yeah, that and hide from Lily."

* * *

(A/N: For the sake of propriety, let's give the parents some names, shall we? Hmm…Laura and Jon.)

"Absolutely not!" was the instant reply that James' mom gave to him when he finally had the nerve to ask her after they got back to the house. She was still packing for the trip, even though they weren't leaving for another few weeks. James' dad sat propped back on the bed, reading the newspaper. "What makes you even think that we'd allow seven extra people to go with us?" she laughed slightly hysterically, looking around a little too frantically for her wand.

James' dad held it aloft and twirled it in his fingers. Laura half sighed and smiled, walking over and trying to grab it out of his hands. He was too fast for her and snatched it out from her at the last second. James watched in disgust as his mom chased his dad around the room, Jon always one step away.

"Mum…dad…" James whimpered, massaging his forehead and running his hand through his hair simultaneously. His parents instantly stopped acting like four year olds and looked up at him, identical giggles frozen on their faces. "You don't understand -how do I tell her I lied to her?"

Even though the last sentence was said under his breath, his parents still heard. Jon sighed and gave Laura back her wand, which she promptly used to throw even more stuff into the bottomless pit of a suitcase. James' dad sat back down on the bed, sitting on the edge of his newspaper.

"I'm reminded of the way your mother and I met," he began, and Laura snorted, trying to hide it behind a cough. Jon turned toward her. "It wasn't that funny!" he said, turning beet red.

She laughed, gathering up some of the bottles sitting on the vanity. "You're absolutely right," she chuckled and her husband's face calmed down a little. "It wasn't just funny, it was hilarious!" Jon scowled, gathering up the newspaper and throwing it across the room where it landed perfectly folded in a chair. He patted the bed beside him, indicating that James should come sit.

"A heart to heart? You're joking, right?" James raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest.

"He's only heard the story a hundred times, dear." Laura called from the inside of their closet.

His father continued nevertheless. "It was the start of the term in seventh year," he began, much to the groans of both his wife and his son. "And there she was, sitting lonely at the Ravenclaw table-"

"I was hardly lonely; I had about forty people sitting around me." Laura laughed, throwing a shoe at James, which he caught and put into the suitcase.

"-And me, being Quidditch captain of the Gryffindor team," he continued as if there had been no interruption, "decided to grace her with my presence."

"Now you see where you get it from." James looked incredulously at his mother, who was still throwing articles of clothing at him to do her dirty work for her.

"Get what from whom?" James muttered, knowing exactly what she was talking about.

"You, unlike Pompous Potter over there," She said, her eyes rolling toward her husband. He was still telling the story, not noticing that no one was listening. "You will most likely grow out of it after your last year at Hogwarts."

"Even though she didn't like me at first, 'try, try again' is my motto," Jon went on, oblivious that his wife had taken over the heart to heart talk with James.

Laura smiled at her son, holding a skirt in one hand while putting the other hand on James' shoulder, told him seriously, "You lied to a girl you like. You're like every boy who has ever been sixteen. And, like every boy who has been sixteen, you'll have to own up to your mistake." She took a look at James' face and added, "Don't get upset; everything will turn out alright."

"I'm not upset." James replied angrily, his face red. Laura stuffed another pair of shoes into her suitcase and winked at him.

"I think this Ms Lily Evans is going to be the one to deflate your oversized ego, Mr. Potter." She smirked and pushed him toward the door, leaving Jon still speaking about the images in his head.

James hurried quickly out the door, smashing head-on into Sirius. Sirius giggled nervously and James conked him on the head, making him laugh harder.

Once James was gone from the room Jon stopped talking, instead looking at Laura with a grim look on his face.

"What's wrong, dear?" she asked, sitting next to him and hugging his shoulders, putting her head on his.

"We're not really going to just leave four teenagers alone in the house while we're away, are we?"

Laura laughed, but he could hear the uncertainty in her voice. "Of course not…we have the house elves. And Rachel's coming home soon," she paused, thinking for a moment. "There's no certainty on whether she'll actually show up here, of course, but even if she does then everything will be taken care of."

Jon kissed her and muttered, "If she's anything like you, then everything will undoubtedly be fine."

* * *

"So what happened? Are you going to tell her? Is she still coming?" Sirius bombarded James with questions, nursing the bump on his head as they walked back to James' room.

James sighed and almost laughed. "You tell me; you're the one who was eavesdropping."

Sirius looked slightly annoyed. "That's only because Remus is too much of a scardy-wolf to come. He locked himself in your room and started to make his way through all the books on your shelf. Which are only three books, just in case you were wondering."

"Well, I'm very glad you learned to count."

"Ha, ha." They opened James' door to find Remus twirling a box of tissues around and around with his wand.

Now it was James' turn to be annoyed. "Just because you're seventeen already doesn't mean you have to flaunt it." He said, knocking the box to the ground. Remus just grinned.

"And just because you're not seventeen yet doesn't mean you have to be bitter about it." He shot back, knowing that James couldn't have anything to say about that.

Sirius laughed, also pulling out his wand and throwing it up and catching it. He heard James mutter something that sounded like, "Just one more month," and quickly pointed the wand at James, who instantly was pulled into the air, hanging by his ankle.

"Hey! Let me down!" he shouted, yelling some filthy things at Sirius, who merely laughed.

"I thought we agreed to use that only on Snape." Remus said holding in a laugh as James struggled helplessly against the curse.

"Yeah, but I figured that he could sustain a little more torture before his birthday next month."

On that note, the torture session continued until James' mom came in, giggled helplessly ("You're not being very helpful, mum!" James yelled.), called James' father in, who also laughed uproariously, (by this point, Sirius and Remus were sitting back, drinking tea) and who ultimately let his son down. James was red-faced all day.

He finally forgave his friends after chasing Sirius around the house, throwing whatever happened to be near at Sirius' head since he couldn't hex him, and avoiding Sirius' own hexes that he threw at him. (For two hours James was pink and frozen in a running stance. Remus and Sirius took advantage and used him as a coat rack.)

The boys finally fell asleep around 4 am, Remus muttering something in his sleep about chocolate.

* * *

James' problem seemed to have melted away over the next few days; there were no owls from Lily to tell of her doomed arrival and James' parents were set to depart in less than a week.

Everything seemed to be going great. That is, until one morning two weeks after school had let out an owl arrived in the late afternoon.

Remus, Sirius, and James had just come back from playing a quick game of Quidditch in the backyard when James spotted the tawny owl twirling around and around the house in effort to find someone to take its letter. Instantly James' face went from heat-exhaustion red to having no color at all.

He stood frozen for a few seconds before Remus finally said, "Are you going to let itself drop dead from exhaustion or open its letter?" James didn't reply.

"I have the feeling that Lily will be a little more than mad if she finds out that you killed her owl," Sirius added, leaning on his broomstick and smirking. James glared at him with malice and walked closer to the house.

"You might want to hurry up!" Sirius teased. James pretended he didn't hear, but sped up.

By the time that James had reached the bird, it had dropped to the ground. James gasped as if his worst fear had been realized. He could hear the others laughing as he bent down to cuddle the owl in his arms, scared out of his wits. Then he noticed that the bird wasn't dead; it was stupefied. James turned around very slowly, giving his most evil death glare that he could and shouted at the nearing Remus and Sirius, "Alright, who did it?"

Remus and Sirius pointed at each other, giggled, and then both pointed at James. James sighed, wishing he had something to hit his head on. (Either that or a new pair of friends.) Instead of throwing the owl down like he wanted to, he laid it on the ground and pried the letter from its beak.

_Dear Mr. and Mrs. Potter,_

_While we are extremely grateful for your offer to our daughter, Lily, I'm afraid that we simply cannot accept something of this magnitude._

James' eyes popped out of his head. Whooping for joy and throwing the letter down, he never even noticed the rest of the writing on the page. Remus and Sirius looked at each other, alarmed, and ran the rest of the way to him. Sirius contented himself to giving James a strange look while Remus picked up the letter.

"Uh…James…?" Remus said, trying to keep a straight face. Sirius leaned over his shoulder and burst out laughing.

Putting his arm over James' shoulder, Sirius began dancing with him, singing, "Lily's coming to James' house…Lily's coming to James' house…He's going to freak out and lie some more…He's going to-" James stopped dancing.

"What did you just say?" Sirius stared at him, giving him his best I-know-you-love-me-so-you'll-forgive-me-later grin.

"However, if your young James is really as insistent as Lily says he is," Remus read, not even trying to hide a smile anymore. James' face changed colors again. "We would be delighted to allow Lily to stay over at the house, provided that there is appropriate supervision. The only problem as far as we are able to see is that my wife and I are leaving to go on a vacation with our other daughter, Petunia to celebrate her graduation from High School."

Remus stopped reading. "Then it just goes on for a while about the other sister. It's quite boring, actually. I think they just want Lily to stay here while they go off on vacation."

"I wonder why they sent it by owl?" Sirius mused. "I mean, I thought that Lily was muggle-born." Remus pointed to a P.S at the bottom of the letter.

"They didn't think that James' parents would understand how to send it back any other way."

Sirius smirked. "Well…if they're anything like James, they wouldn't." His smile faltered when he saw that James was no longer standing beside them. Remus pointed toward the house's opened door. "How do you know everything?" Sirius whispered under his breath.

"It's a gift."

They found James standing on the staircase, hitting his head furiously against the mantle. Remus seemed alarmed, but Sirius just shook his head. "Jamesie my boy, doing that will give you what is known as a concussion, which is actually not good." James didn't seem to hear him and continued making a bruise on his forehead.

Remus rushed over and pulled him away from the staircase, forcing him to sit down on the steps. Immediately James began to hyperventilate. Remus sighed. "It's just one emergency after another, isn't it?"

"For…your…information…" James tried to speak, holding his now purple head in his hands. "This…wouldn't…have…happened…if…Sirius…"

"Wasn't so loveable?" Sirius went into a victory pose.

"I don't think so," Remus answered for James, who was still struggling to talk.

"Aww, why not?"

James grunted in frustration and then started again.

"If…Sirius…Hadn't…started…making…finger…puppets…"

Sirius smiled, as if remembering some fond memory. "Ah, yes…Puffin the Bunny and Billy the Pig…"

Remus gave him another look. "You're weird." Sirius' smile almost fell, but came back within a millisecond.

"Yes…but I'm funny," he pointed out, raising his eyebrows up and down.

"Don't ever do that again."

James looked up from his pathetic state. "New subject. Please." Remus and Sirius grinned at each other and looked down at the letter in Remus' hands simultaneously.

"I think we'll go have a little chat with your mother…" Without another word, the two bounded up the stairs, headed toward James' parent's room. (His mother was still packing.)

It took a few moments for James to catch on. "Hey! Where do you think you're going with that letter?" his two best friends started to run faster up the stairs. James stood up quickly and then fell back down, feeling the worst head rush that he had ever had. "You're going to get it later!"

Remus and Sirius laughed, waving the letter high above their heads, knowing full well that they'd get away free from James' wrath.

And, almost as proof, a few minutes later there came uproarious laughter that sounded very much like James' mother and father. James pounded the floor with his fist, and then proceeded to think up the most horrific revenge to pull on his friends.


	3. Chapter 3

A third chapter…finally. Haha. Now you have to read it because you clicked on it.

* * *

"Will you stop worrying? You're making me nervous. And that, my friend," Sirius stopped talking for a moment to swallow his chocolate that he was sharing with Remus. "Is a very hard thing to do."

James was pacing up and down the area of his room, trying with all his might to get rid of the dull, aching pain he was having in his forehead along with the brats that he called friends. "Would you just try again?" he pleaded with Remus, who now had his face covered completely in chocolate and was still eating.

"I don't think there's anything that I can do." Remus told him after swallowing. "I believe that your brain is permanently trying to get rid of the damage you inflicted with Lily by leaving your head."

James glared at him. "You need to stop hanging out with Sirius." He turned around again to pace the other side of the room. Sirius smirked, making himself look even stranger with the immense amount of chocolate surrounding his mouth.

"Stop blaming me for your problems. Just because Remus can't cure your headache with a spell doesn't automatically mean that it's my fault." Remus laughed.

"See?" Remus giggled, unwrapping another bar of chocolate and adding it to the already huge pile on James' bed. "He's not as dumb as we thought he was." Sirius laughed while James began to hit his head to make the pain go away.

James stopped for a moment and turned to look at Sirius. "You do know that he just insulted you, right?" he asked, forgetting for a minute about his headache.

Sirius shook his head. "No he didn't, he just-" Realization dawned on him. "Wait a minute…"

James went back to pacing and listening to the sounds of Remus trying to avoid getting hit by Sirius or anything Sirius threw at him. There was a sudden sound of the doorbell and all three of them jumped, catching the other's eyes.

From downstairs they could hear James' mother answering the door. Any noise that was in the room prior to now stop completely; the whole house seemed to have become eerily silent. The boys listened with everything they had to hear the conversation going on below them.

"Why hello Mrs. Dongle! I'm so glad you were able to make it on such short notice!" they heard Laura exclaim. There was a collective sigh of relief. Lily wasn't here yet. They had nothing to worry about until then.

Then Sirius voiced what he and Remus had both been thinking. "Wait a second, who's Mrs. Dongle?" James shuddered.

"I'm not taking that as a good sign," Remus muttered, more to himself than to anyone else.

"Mrs. Dongle is the old lady from across the street that my mum used to pay to baby-sit me," James explained, shuddering a little at the thought of her. "She was the worst…I…I don't even want to think about her…" Remus and Sirius glanced at each other.

"What's she doing here?" Remus finally asked, giving James a chance to calm down a little.

The realization that the old lady from across the street was actually once again in his house suddenly dawned on James, hitting him hard. There was a brief silence in which James' eyes suddenly got a lot wider and then he was out of the room, running so fast that he left a trail of dust behind him. Remus and Sirius laughed for a moment, and then followed him leisurely.

James reached the top of the stairs in record time, beating his old record by two seconds at least. His mother heard him immediately, using the sixth sense that only mothers have to detect their sons. She glanced up at him, her face half saying "oh, look who just stopped by!" and "If you dare do anything to be rude, I'll gut you like a fish!"

"Jamesie!" she laughed nervously, a smidgen surprised by her son's quick entrance. She continued even through the laughter that suddenly erupted from Sirius and Remus when she had used James' nickname. "Look who just came by to help!"

"To…to…help?" James asked, a frightened look on his face and in his voice.

As he looked at the older women that he had not seen in many, many years, all the old memories came back to him. The fiasco at the quidditch pitch in the backyard, the time when he purposely covered everything in putty just to make her mad after she had sent him to bed at six-o-clock (When he was nine and then again when he was eleven.), and all the times that he had to sit in the corner for 'accidentally' magically shaving all her hair off.

Ok, so maybe the evilness was more of James than it was of her, but he sure wasn't going to admit that.

"Of course to help," Laura said, her smile frozen on her face. Obviously she remembered what James had done in his younger days all too well. "We will need a babysitter if there's going to be a teenage girl and three untamed teenage boys in the house while we're away." Her eyes narrowed slightly, only enough just so her son could see that she meant business.

Inwardly James cursed. Outwardly he fainted. This, of course, made Sirius and Remus laugh even harder.

His mother just sighed and gave an apologetic look to Mrs. Dongle. "He's really changed since you last sat for him, Mrs. Dongle, I swear," she half pleaded, trying to ignore the look on the older woman's face. "I mean, six years have passed and he's turning seventeen next week. At school he's gotten much better…" she trailed off, realizing that nothing at all had changed since James was eleven. "Well…I'm sure he'll be better behaved once we have a young lady in the house."

Mrs. Dongle sniffed, turning her nose up a little in a pompous way. "I'm sure," she said quietly. Laura was immensely relieved.

"Then you will help us?" she asked and received a slight nod which she took to be a yes. She let out her breath the she had been holding ever since Mrs. Dongle had step foot in her house. "Thank you so much!" With that, the two parted and Mrs. Dongle left using the front door. Laura turned around to face the stairs to find Remus and Sirius trying to resuscitate James, who was still lying on at the head of the stairs.

"I'll go get some water." She said, heading off toward the kitchen.

Sirius and Remus nodded in sync and then turned back to the task at hand.

"I still say that slapping him multiple times will do the trick." Sirius repeated for the billionth time. Remus had stopped laughing at it when he finally realized that he was being serious. (A/N: I know…no pun intended…lol) Remus smiled weakly.

"I don't think that his mum would appreciate that very much, Padfoot."

"But it would wake him up." Sirius argued back, smiling self satisfyingly. Remus shook his head.

"I need a pin." He sighed, sitting back to release the pressure off his legs.

"A pin? Why?"

"To deflate your ego," Sirius narrowed his eyes as if to say 'very funny.' Remus just shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, you can't argue with the truth, my friend."

They sat there for a few more minutes, staring at James' lifeless form. "I think his mum got sidetracked." Sirius finally said. Remus nodded and they went back to their brainstorming, if you could call it that.

Suddenly the doorbell rang, singing the refrain to a version of the Hogwarts school song. As if on cue, James sat straight up, blinking and holding his head.

"Good timing," Sirius told him, now looking at his fingernails as if he had planned this the entire time. "Now you get to go answer the door like a good little boy."

"Agh…" James managed to sputter out. "Why me?"

"You live here, remember?" Remus asked, holding up two fingers. "How many fingers am I holding up? What's two plus two? Who's your best friend in the whole world?" James knocked his fingers aside trying to stand up.

"Moony, I'm not even going to dignify that with a response." He said, practically falling down the stairs to get to the door.

Sirius smirked. "The answer to the last question was me, anyways," He looked at Remus sympathetically. "Don't give yourself too much credit."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Where's that pin when I need one?" Sirius laughed evilly. They watched James stumble down his stairs as the doorbell rang three more times. "Bet you all your wizard cards that it's who I think it is," Remus whispered to Sirius.

"Bet you that's why neither of James' parents has come down to answer the door." Sirius retaliated and Remus laughed.

James finally reached the door, pulling it open in the middle of a fourth rendition of the doorbell. Blinded by the son for a few moments, he shielded his eyes to see whoever was there, hoping to Merlin that is wasn't Mrs. Dongle, back again to make his life a living…well…you know what I mean.

"James?" a distinctly female voice asked, stepping closer a little to block out the sun behind her. James saw red hair, green eyes, and gulped. Oh, yeah. She was supposed to be here today.

"H…Hi, Lily…" he muttered, now gripping the door in his right hand with a death grip. "Forgot…uh…you…er…are here?" Lily looked confused for a few seconds then nodded tentatively.

"Am I allowed to come in?" she asked and James finally noticed that she was standing there buried by two humongous suitcases. James opened the door wider and allowed her to pass by.

"Lily!" Sirius screeched by way of greeting. He began to run down the stairs and then stopped, also noticing the bags. "What'd you pack the whole continent of north America?" Lily smiled a bit, glancing down at her things.

"I just…couldn't decide what to pack," she said by way of explanation. "I had no idea whether or not you boys were going to ambush me on my first night here or not."

"We wouldn't do that!" Remus insisted, coming down the stairs too. The four of them stood there silent, with one word floating through all of their minds; _awkward_.

"Prongs, are you going to stand there holding the door all day? 'Cause if you do it long enough we're going to have to start to pay you." Remus said and Sirius laughed, enjoying the effect of James turning red so quickly.

"Allow me to take your things to your room, Lily my dear." Sirius added quickly, trying to take some of the awkwardness before it could rear its ugly head again.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "Don't call me that." She warned.

"Don't call you what? Lily?" Sirius asked, confused. Remus and James sighed in unison. With a huff, Lily handed her shoulder bag at Sirius' feet and he lifted the two bags in the air with a simple wave of his wand. The bags floated up the stairs and to Lily's new room, Sirius for some reason knowing where it was.

To relieve some of the tension of James not being able to open his mouth, Remus suddenly said, "James' birthday is next week."

Sirius laughed and added, "He'll be turning two."

Lily laughed for the first time since she got there, making James' face turn a darker shade of red. "That's funny, because I thought he would be only turning one."

James opened his mouth to retaliate, but at that moment, his mum and dad chose to reappear at the top of the stairs.

"Lily!" James' mom said excitedly. "We're so glad that you could make it!"

"Sorry that we have to leave you four alone so soon, though." James' dad motioned to the array of bags following them down the stairs as they headed for the door.

This seemed to shock his wife out of fun mother mode and into 'these are the ground rules' mode. "Oh yes." She pulled some sheets of paper from out of her pockets. "Mrs. Dongle," James shuddered at the mention of her name, "Will be the lady staying with you four while we're away. You'll be sharing a room with her, Lily."

"They thought of everything, didn't they?" Sirius whispered to no one in particular.

"She's rather old, so don't be too rough with her." Her eyes fell on James and he suddenly started whistling to show his innocence. "She's just here to make sure that none of you try to pull anything. To give you a little freedom, though, she won't be here during the day." There was a release of breath from all four teenagers.

"It's mostly just the nights we're worried about." James' dad added, winking at his son, who suddenly wished that he was anywhere but there.

"That's it!" by this time all the luggage had accumulated at the bottom of the stairs with its owners standing by it. "We'll be gone for about the entire summer, but you can always reach us by floo or fire." She gave Lily and Remus each a piece of paper with the name of their tour's name on it. "You can always reach us here."

"Hey!" Sirius protested, noticing that she only gave Remus and Lily one. "How come James and I didn't get one?"

"You'd use it for something dangerous." Remus told him, putting the piece of paper in his pocket for safekeeping. Sirius muttered something about that being a good idea and became lost in his own little dream world.

"Don't worry," James was saying as Sirius came back to reality. "Mum, nothing serious will happen." _Just a couple of pranks to a few people who deserve it._ He thought, thinking of what he had planned for that night.

"For some reason, that doesn't console me." James' mom and dad answered together, identical looks on their faces. They started making their way out the door, the bags automatically following them.

After saying goodbye to their son and getting all of the bags out, James' mom stood in the doorway and said, "Remember that we trust you, alright?" and closed the door.

James, Lily, Remus and Sirius stared at each other, wide-eyed.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Sirius finally voiced and the others nodded in agreement.

* * *

it's shorter than the last chapter. I sorry! And I know I promised a prank, but, as you can see, that will have to wait until next chapter!

MWHAHAHAHAHA! I have you all in the palm of my hands!

Sorry. I had a relapse of 'evil dictator' syndrome. It happens. Lol. j/k.

Thank you to everyone who reviews!

If you review I'll bribe you with anything you want! Tehe.

Emmablk1


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, so it took me longer than usual, but it was worth it, trust me. Lol, and there's more than this to come!

Enjoy!

* * *

James scurried quietly down the stairs, heading toward the kitchen, a huge mischievous smile on his face. He tried to wipe the smile off, trying to shake off the combination of nerves and excitement running through him, but it was nearly impossible.

He was going to try something he'd never tried before. Well, okay, he'd tried but he'd never been successful. This time, though, he would have to be; after all, if he actually found the cupboard then he could pull of the best prank of all time. Okay, fine, the best prank in the neighborhood.

The kitchen seemed smaller without his mom there, as something was always cooking in the Potter household. James quickly got his mind back on subject as he tried to remember what his dad had told him about the cupboard. It was hidden in one of the walls, with a secret way to get in. And, supposedly, it held all of James' wildest dreams that didn't include Lily in them. Supposedly being the key word there.

James carefully circled the room once, finding all the spots on the walls without anything there. Only one spot was open, James' mom being one to cover every inch of a wall. He began pushing in on it, but it was completely smooth.

"Dammit," James swore. He'd have to use magic to get in. _I should've known._ He thought, _What kind of magical family doesn't keep things locked up with magic? The excitement of finally getting back at Sirius and Remus must be getting to my brain._

In his head James could hear Sirius' automatic response; What brain?

The real problem now, of course, was that James couldn't do any magic until his birthday. So the amount of people who could in the house was numbered down to Sirius, Remus, Mrs. Dongle, and….Lily.

Lily? She was the only person who could actually help, but…Lily?

Giving up, James headed back up the stairs all the while thinking that it would never work if he did ask her to help. But then again…

James turned the opposite direction at the top of the stairs, going toward Lily and Mrs. Dongle's room instead of his own, hoping against hope that this would work.

**Meanwhile, in Lily's room…**

Mrs. Dongle could've been more than a hundred years old. Every time she moved she creaked. Her breath smelled like old gym socks and she snored. Badly.

Lily tried to sleep, but she became convinced that Mrs. Dongle's snoring was as loud as a sonic blast. Nothing helped, so she carefully turned on the light by her bed and took out her journal. Apparently, nothing waked her up, either.

_Dear Diary, _

_Well, here I am at the Potter's house…although I don't know why mum and dad let me come. Something about me 'needing to socialize more'; otherwise known as they need more vacation time without me and Petunia mucking it up. Thank God Petunia is sleeping over at a friend's house this week. I don't think I could listen to her yell at me about the 'around the world trip' because it's too magical. Bleh. I wish she'd just shut up. _

_It was kind of weird coming here today, though. Remus was the same as always, thank God he's here. Sirius was his usual pompous self, and James…was…uh…is there a word for how he is? Stilted? Off? Cute when he blushes?_

_Oops. Don't count the last one. My brain wasn't working. _

Suddenly Lily was aware that the door was slowly opening and a finger was telling her to come. Slightly confused, she put down her diary and made her way to the door. Stopping suddenly, she realized what she was wearing (a nightgown) and grabbed her sweater off the end of her bed.

Opening the door wider, James' head appeared and mouthed the words 'come here.' Lily followed, rolling her eyes at his attempts to be quiet.

"What is it, James?" she asked, pulling the sweater closer to her to cover the nightgown.

James looked her over and raised an eyebrow. "What're you wearing?" Lily blushed.

"What is it James?" she asked a little more forcefully this time, letting go of the sweater.

"I need your help. With magic. Downstairs. Right now." He muttered.

Lily laughed slightly. "Can you talk in complete sentences?"

"I need your help downstairs so that I can open a magic cupboard so that I can pull the ultimate prank on Remus and Sirius." James sighed, hoping that that about covered it.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "You mean that you can't do magic outside school yet?" He nodded so she shrugged. "Alright. They probably deserve anything you do to them anyways." She began to walk towards the stairs.

James was surprised. "Really? You'll help me?"

She turned back around and flashed him a grin. "I want to see what's in the cupboard that's so important." James flashed her a smile of his own and they both went down the stairs together.

James showed her the blank space on the wall and Lily inspected it. Turning back to him after a moment, she gave him the strangest look.

"What?" James asked, blushing a bit.

"It just now occurred to me that I'm older than you. Hmm. Interesting how that makes a bunch of sense, isn't it?"

"Shut up."

Lily turned back to the wall, a small smile of triumph written on her face. She pulled out her wand from her sweater pocket and gently tapped the wall three times and then said "Potter." Instantly a small cupboard appeared.

James looked at her, a mixture of gratefulness and awe on his face. "How'd you know to say Potter?"

Lily shrugged. "We have one of these at home; I'm the only one who knows about it. The cupboard comes as a standard kind. It's actually very simple."

"Yeah, yeah, I don't need its life history." James spurned, already elbows deep into the contents of the cupboard. He pulled out a small vial and examined it. "Perfect!" he exclaimed.

But Lily had already begun climbing the stairs, hurt by what James had said. James considered running after her, but he shrugged it off. She wasn't his priority right now.

Instead, he quickly closed the cupboard, watching it melt back into the wall, and went back to his room. Sirius and Remus were still very much asleep, unaware that James had even slipped out.

James quickly read the label over again on the vial. If he wanted it to work, he would have to use it now before the morning. The label said that all it took was a drop on the victim's head. (Alright, so it didn't say victim exactly, but James envisioned it did.)

Remus was easy to drop the potion on, but Sirius was another matter altogether. It seemed that Sirius had a defense system set up just for this kind of thing. Obviously, he had been pranked too many times at night, or more likely, he had delivered too many pranks at night that he built up an immune system to it just in case.

In any case, it took four tries to just drop the potion on Sirius' head before James finally held him down and forced the liquid to settle. Finally satisfied, James put the vial away in his sock drawer and settled down in bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

* * *

The next morning Sirius felt itchy. It was hot, too, like he had way too many blankets on himself. Cursing James for making him sleep on the floor, Sirius pulled off the covers, but couldn't grab a hold of the blanket itself. It wasn't until he sunk his claws deep into the material that he finally got it off.

Wait. Claws?

Opening his eyes, Sirius lifted his head up, took one good look at his body, and screamed.

* * *

Remus woke up to the sound of Sirius' screaming. Not an altogether pleasant experience, but at least he woke up.

It was then that he noticed that he had fur. Not just any fur, either.

Orange fluffy fur. With white stripes.

And he was shedding. Everywhere.

He tried to sit up but couldn't and had to resort to four legs, stretching out involuntarily. It was then that Remus realized what he was.

_I'm a cat. Oh my gosh, I'm a cat. I'm a cat. Why am I a cat! _

He looked at Sirius for support, who seemed to be coming to terms with what was going on. James sat up from the bed sleepily. But from the angle Remus was at, he couldn't see James. Then he noticed it was because he was a short cat.

_Ahh! I'm a kitten! Ah man, why does my irrational fear of cats have to manifest itself now!_

Sirius jumped up on the bed and bit James on the arm. James let out a yell to rival Sirius'.

"And you'll get more where that came from if you don't change me back right now!" Sirius hollered, but it had a slight mew-ish tone to it.

Just then the door slammed open, Mrs. Dongle in her pajamas in the doorway with Lily behind her.

"And what is going on in here? What's with all the noise!" Mrs. Dongle shouted, but she spotted the two boys-turned-kittens and exclaimed a sound of surprise and cooing.

"Ah, what adorable kittens!" She reached for Sirius, who was still on the bed with James. "Since when did you keep these cooped up in here?" She asked, holding Sirius against her chest, petting the life out of him. From the look on Sirius' face, James could tell he was in for it later.

Lily laughed, trying to cover it up with her hand. "We'd better take them outside," She said.

Mrs. Dongle gasped. "You're absolutely right, Miss Evans." Still holding Sirius against her, she turned to walk out the door, but Sirius started to thrash wildly at her, scratching her everywhere he could reach. He finally won his freedom when she dropped him in surprise.

"Maybe it's better if you hold them, Miss Evans."

Lily smiled broadly and with the utmost care picked up Remus and Sirius, who seemed much happier with the switch. The two women were gone after only being there a few minutes.

James was still sitting up dully; still dumb on what was going on. He remembered Sirius biting him, but Sirius was a kitten…

Oh, yeah.

Suddenly remembering last night, James began to laugh maliciously. It had worked!

Then he thought about what Sirius and Remus would do to him when they were back to their original forms.

Eegh…never mind…think of something more pleasant…like…uh…dandelions. Yeah, that's it; dandelions.

Keeping his mind on a different subject helped while he got dressed, but it went out of his mind completely when he spotted two kittens, one orange and one black, staring at him from outside his bedroom window.

It was an omen if he had ever seen one.

* * *

Like it, love it? Tell me and the next chapter will only take a few weeks, pinky swear! smiles

Hint of what is to come: another cat falls madly in love with Sirius, but what happens to that love when Sirius and Remus change back? (But who said that Sirius even liked this cat?)

Talk to everyone later!

Emmablk1


	5. Chapter 5

Yay! It's finally here,

Everybody give a cheer!

Hey, I never said I was a poet, ok?

* * *

After quickly getting dressed, James went downstairs to find Lily searching frantically through his kitchen cabinets. James took a step back to admire the picture of Lily's flushed face. And her butt. Although, he would never admit that if she caught him.

"You know, most people would look in the fridge for food." He said after a few minutes of…er…admiring.

Lily's head snapped up and James caught the wild look in her eyes. "Do you have any cat food!" She practically shouted. However, James never had a chance to respond, as Lily began to push him towards the front door.

"I really thought you may have actually have thought this through, James. You are just going to have to go out and buy some food for them!"

"Wait just a minute!" James steeled himself against Lily. "Isn't there something in the fridge that they could eat? If I leave I'll be killed! Didn't you see the way they were glaring at me!"

Lily gave him a look that he was getting all too used to, but stopped pushing him. "All I'm saying is that my comfort zone is here," he gestured around him, "And I'd be stepping out of said comfort zone if I go outside to be mauled by the crazy cats! I mean…people."

Lily sighed. "It doesn't matter anyways; you'd still have to go out to get food."

"Are you telling me that there is no food anywhere in this house?"

"Not enough to live on. And the two people who could fix something up are outside trying to lick themselves!"

Ignoring the licking comment, James raised his eyebrows at Lily. "It's the second day that you've been here and there's no food at all anywhere?" She carefully avoided his gaze. Then the light bulb came on in James' head. "You can't cook, can you?"

Lily blushed scarlet and then mumbled something under her breath. "What was that?" James asked, trying not to giggle. He reached down and lifted her chin up to look at him.

Blushing even redder, she said, "Mum never taught me because she assumed that I wouldn't need to know…being a witch and all…"

He thought about laughing, but then realized that it was cute. "I can teach you," he whispered, bringing her face closer to his. "Of course, all I can cook is boiling water."

_Merlin, he's actually going to do it…I can't believe it…ahh! I can't think at a time like this!_ Lily's mind was hardly working at all, but apparently her body knew exactly what to do; her arms went around James' neck and her feet went on their tiptoes to match their couple inches difference in height.

There came a YOWL! from the front yard and Lily and James broke apart as quickly as they had come together. (A/N: c'mon, you all knew this was going to happen…) Matching the other's bright red face, they both ran to the window to find a black kitten practically screaming from a high tree branch and a orange kitten with his hair on end staring at another black kitten who was mewing down at the bottom of the tree.

"Oh bloody hell."

* * *

"Padfoot, you can come down now, you know…she's not going to hurt you." Remus coaxed from the ground, after getting over the scare that the kitten had given the two of them.

"But she…but she..." Sirius whimpered from the tree, not letting Remus calm him down. "She violated my personal space!"

Remus rolled his eyes as well as a cat could roll his eyes. "She did not. She snuck up behind you and you ran into the tree. If anything you violated the tree's personal space."

Sirius glared at him. "You're not helping."

"Yeesh. Really, you can come down now." The cat said, beginning to lick her paw.

There was a pause while Sirius tried to pull his claws out of the tree branch. "I…uh…can't…I'm afraid of…uh…heights?"

Before Remus could have a chance to answer, James stormed out of the front door, Lily trailing right behind him. "Sirius Black!" James yelled, "Come down this instant!"

Sirius' reply to this was to stick out his tongue.

"Hello there. Will you pet me?" The black cat politely asked Lily and she stared at it blankly.

"Remus, since when do real kittens talk?" she asked, not taking her eyes off of the kitten for one second.

"Since real people turn into kittens." Remus replied, beginning to lick his fur, and then stopping. "I have got to learn to stop doing that."

Lily bent down to the black cat and asked in the sweetest voice she could manage (well, the cat _was_ a kitten…), "And what's your name, kitty-kitty?"

The cat looked at her with an undertone that suggested that she would be rolling her eyes if she could. "Don't patronize me." Lily blinked, and then muttered an apology, but the kitten kept on talking. "I'm Kat with a K, not a C; don't confuse it."

"Now, why didn't I see that one coming?" Remus thought to himself, shaking his head and sitting in the grass.

"And I didn't mean to scare your friend over there," she continued, glancing up at Sirius and then at Remus, "but I couldn't help it! Do you know how long it's been since the last animals to walk through this yard haven't been a rat, dog, werewolf, or moose?"

"Stag!" James angrily yelled, momentarily taking his eyes off of Sirius to correct her.

"Whatever. All I'm saying is that I'm a little starved for attention." She looked at Sirius again and winked at him.

"Please don't tell me that a kitten just tried to hit on me." Sirius' eyes went big, unsettled.

"She didn't try," Lily smiled broadly, "she most definitely succeeded." She began to pet Kat's head, who purred in response.

The next hour was spent watching James try to get Sirius to come down from the tree, who looked like he really wanted to, but the instinct to make James mad overcame that want.

"So, how old are you?" Lily asked Kat as they watching James climbing the tree to physically take Sirius down from it.

"I wonder if he even remembers why he wanted him to come down so much in the first place?" Remus said to himself, knowing that no one else was listening.

"In human years I'm probably about ten." Kat replied. (A/N: I have no idea how cats age according to humans.) She was sitting in Lily's lap, having her own personal massage. "But looking at that," she tilted her head towards the two idiots in the tree, "I know that I'm much more mature than ten years old."

Lily looked over at Remus, who was trying not to lick his fur. "You know, you are a very cute cat, Remus."

Remus blushed and involuntarily licked his paw.

All three looked up when they heard a THUNK and watched as James come crashing to the ground.

"Whoops." Sirius said, nimbly leaping to another branch and shaking a leaf out from his fur.

"You…did…that…on…purpose…" James groaned from the grass.

"You can't prove that."

"Wanna…bet…?"

Lily sighed, rolling her eyes. "Okay, that's enough." Putting Kat on the ground, she stood and stepped over James to get to Sirius. "Sirius get down here!"

He immediately jumped into her arms.

"We're all going inside to sort this out." She said, walking into the house, trailed by Kat, Remus, and James, who had finally gotten up off of his butt.

"James," Lily said when they all were assembled at (or on, considering they're kittens) the kitchen table, "You have to turn them back."

James looked down and mumbled something.

"You can't turn us back!" Sirius shrieked, launching himself at James and trying to scratch his face off.

"Sirius! Control yourself!" Lily tried to get him off of James to no avail.

"Yeah, go for his heart firs, not his head!" Remus yelled.

When Lily finally got Sirius to calm down, she looked around at the cats, and then at James, who was nursing the cuts on his face.

"I think I can turn you guys back." Lily said and watched as their faces brightened. "But you might suffer from cat-like personalities for several days." From the looks on their faces, she could tell they didn't care, but just in case they came complaining later, she wanted to be able to say 'I told you so.'

"But I'm the one who's good at transfiguration!" James protested.

"Well maybe you should have thought about that before you turned your best friends into cats." Lily hissed, throwing a towel at him. "Go get cleaned up. When you come back they'll be as good as new."

* * *

James cleaned his cuts the best he could, but couldn't help thinking that he looked as if he had just collided with a cactus.

"Maybe it'll make me look more rugged." He thought out loud, but when he put on his glasses, he realized that he had been beaten up by a cat. And that was as far from rugged as you could get.

* * *

"Ah…to be human." Sirius took a good look at himself in the glare from the fridge. "I look even better than I did before!"

"And here I thought it was impossible for someone to compliment himself and boost his ego even more." Remus sighed, looking at himself in the fridge too.

"I just thought it was impossible for his ego to get any bigger." Lily agreed halfheartedly, staring at Kat.

"What does that look mean?" Kat asked, nervously looking back at Lily.

"I think I have an idea."

Sirius and Remus heard a wand PING and turned around to find a ten-year-old sitting on the kitchen table. She was dressed in all back; black mini skirt, black shirt, even long black socks and black shoes. Her hair was jet black with, curiously enough, red highlights.

"Huh. I didn't see those when you were a cat." Lily remarked, touching a red strand. Kat grinned.

Remus and Sirius both stood wide-eyed, mouths open. Remus found his voice first. "Wow, Lily…I didn't know you could do that."

"Yeah, when I was really little I used to turn my bunnies into people sometimes so that I could have someone to play with." Lily said as sadness briefly crossed her face.

Kat hopped down from the table and crossed over to Sirius, " So, what do you want to do now?" She smiled as she put her arms around his neck, her feet on her tiptoes.

Sirius squeaked, "Uh…problem!" and ducked out of her arms, backing into the fridge. He held on for dear life. He looked at Lily. "It was fine when she was a cat and all, but…" he looked back at Kat. "Could you age her or something! This is starting to get a little creepy!"

Lily and Remus burst out laughing at the same time, doubling over. At that moment, James walked in.

He saw Kat and did a double take. "Do you have a tattoo on your bellybutton?"

Kat glanced down and saw that her shirt had come up when she lifted her arms. She giggled mischievously.

"Can cats even get tattoos?" Sirius wondered as Lily and Remus calmed down.

Still chuckling, Lily waved her wand at Kat and everyone watched as she aged seven years.

"Okay, it's still kinda creepy." Sirius whimpered, which sent Remus and Lily into hysterics again. Angry, Sirius rushed out of the kitchen, ignoring Remus' pleas of 'Wait! We're almost done! Come back!'

"Sirius!" Kat whined, chasing after him, but she stopped as he ran up the stairs.

Impulsively instead of running to James' room to destroy everything he owned, Sirius turned the other direction toward where Lily was staying.

Stopping short of the door, Sirius suddenly heard a voice telling him to stop, but he waved it off, realizing it was his conscience.

The room was small with two beds stuffed in, but Sirius immediately knew which was Lily's. A small black book caught his eyes, but after searching through it enough he only confirmed what he already knew; that Lily and James had the hots for each other.

Moving on to a brighter book (okay, so the color caught his eye; he's easily distracted, alright?) he found it to contain nearly every person in Gryffindor's phone number or address. A thought struck him and he raced out of the room to find a phone.

He had a lot of phone calls to make.

* * *

So? How was this one? You're all wondering what Sirius is going to do, right? MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Okay, I know most of you have figured it out already. Oh well. At least you're enjoying it.

See you all next chapter!

Emmablk1

P.S.

Here's a hint:

James' birthday is coming up.


	6. Chapter 6

Ok, after much deliberation and heartache (AKA conversing with my friends and other readers) I have finally figured out how to write this chapter!

I can hear the cheering now…and I'm sorry for the delay!

Two Steps Back

Chapter 6

Sirius didn't actually begin to put his plan into action until a few days later, when he finally managed to figure out where the phone was. Or what it was for that matter.

Sirius stared at the phone, completely oblivious to the fact that he was being watched. Lily and Remus stood not ten feet away from him betting continuously for the last fifteen minutes on how long it would take him to figure out the mystery that was the phone. Kat was further away and could care less about how the phone worked and more about how cute Sirius was when he was frustrated. (Kat had been staying with Lily and Mrs. Dongle the past couple of nights.)

"So…if I just…uh…" Sirius turned the phone around in his hand, pretending that he knew what the little antenna was for.

"Ok, seriously now, five more seconds and we have to go in there to tell him." Lily whispered to Remus. She had now completely gotten over the whole funny aspect of the situation and was frustrated to no end.

"Wait a minute; I just want to see if he knows to press the buttons!" Remus covered his grinning mouth with his hand, still not being able to get over the fact that Sirius had even known what a phone looked like.

Lily gave him a withering look.

"Yeah, okay, it's been long enough." Remus complied, feeling her glare burning through his skin.

"So I hold it in this hand…" they heard Sirius muttering as the two of them neared him. "Wait, wait, wait! I almost have it!" he held up the hand that wasn't holding the phone to keep Remus and Lily away.

"Sirius, the phone is upside down." Lily stated matter-of-factly.

"Right…" Sirius flipped the phone over.

"Why do you need to use a phone anyways?" Remus asked, taking the phone gently from his hand.

"I…uh…want to call my mommy?"

It was then that Lily noticed the black book stuffed into his pant's pocket. "Sirius!" she grabbed for the book, but he pulled away quickly.

"Lily!" Sirius feigned shock, "I for one am surprised at you! If you really were that anxious we could have at least talked about it first!"

Lily's face contorted in disgust, but she didn't let that distract her. "Give me back my address book!" she tried again to reach for it, but Sirius jumped out of the way.

"Sirius…are you planning what I think you're planning?" Remus narrowed his eyes, putting two and two together.

"I'm…calling all the eligible girls in town, that's all." Sirius replied as he jumped away from Lily yet again.

"You know very well that I have everybody's number from Gryffindor in there, Sirius Black!" Lily stopped trying to grab her book and began to kick Sirius instead.

"OUCH!" Sirius doubled over, clutching his knee.

"Give it!"

"Fine, fine! Here, take it!" he managed to get the book out of his pocket and throw it at her, finally falling on the ground in pain.

Remus wasn't looking at the spectacle before him, but rather staring off into space. "Actually, that's not a bad idea."

"What's not a bad idea?" Lily asked, distracted by the sight of Sirius withering on the ground because of a little kick.

"A party," The more he thought about it, the more he liked the idea.

"A what…?" She muttered, still completely taken aback by Sirius and beginning to suspect that he was pretending.

Remus rolled his eyes at Sirius (he was now totally unfazed by Sirius' antics) and continued to speak. "Yeah, you know…one of those things with lots of people, some balloons, and perhaps most likely a cake?"

"Uh-huh," Lily murmured, checking through her addresses to make sure everything was still there. "Wait…a party for whom? The idiot on the floor?"

"Lily, its James' seventeenth birthday next week,"

Lily's eyes went wide as she suddenly stopping flipping through the pages. "Oh my gosh, it is…" she thought for a moment while Sirius got up from the floor and was instantly tackled by Kat, who had been silently watching from her hiding place. "I suppose we could do something like that…" she said hesitantly.

Lily and Remus started to flip through Lily's address book (the book had both phone numbers and addresses to be reached at through floo powder) to find people to invite. Neither was paying any attention to Sirius and Kat.

"C'mon! Just get off of me!" Sirius cried out as Kat wrapped her arms around him for the twelfth time in the last twenty seconds.

Kat responded by hugging him tighter. "I'm just so glad that you're ok! I thought for a moment there that you were hurt!"

Sirius sighed and tried again to pry Kat off of his waist, but she had learned all too well as a cat to sink her claws into him and not let go.

"Look, I was just pretending to be hurt to make Lily feel bad for kicking me, all right?" he told her, waiting for her to realize this so that he could breathe again. "So, if you'll please let go of m-OUCH!"

Remus and Lily looked up to find half of Sirius' shirt missing.

"Could you please NOT use your claws to destroy my wardrobe!" Screamed Sirius, finally managing to push Kat away to survey the damage of what was left of his shirt.

The others watched as Sirius jumped up the steps to James' room to find a new shirt, muttering all the way, "Damn it, fifth time today…"

Sirius came back down about ten minutes later wearing a new shirt, having cleaned the new cuts caused by Kat for the sixth time that day. He found Kat, Remus, and Lily in the kitchen, still looking through the book for people to invite to James' surprise party.

"No! We can't invite her and that's that!" Lily was shouting at a very confused Remus.

"But she's one of the most popular people at Hogwarts-"

"Besides us!" Sirius chimed in.

"-and she knows and likes James!"

"And she's hot."

Lily gave Sirius a look. "Sirius, you don't even know who we're talking about."

Sirius shrugged. "I just figure that if you wouldn't want to invite her then she must be hot." Lily's face turned bright red in anger.

"We're talking about Graziana Harding and-" Remus was cut off again by Sirius.

"Oh. She's hot."

"ARGH!" Lily started to bang her head against the table. "We're…not…inviting…her!"

"I get what this is about!" Sirius pointed at Lily. "You're afraid that she'll show up here and steal James from you right under your nose, right?"

Lily didn't say anything, but her face betrayed her by turning beet red.

"I knew it!" Sirius pumped his fists in the air. "You're the only girl who really has access to him this summer and now you're overprotective of him!"

"Wow…that actually makes sense…" Remus muttered, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

Kat jumped up from her place on the kitchen counter. "Yay! My Siri is the smart one!"

"Where is James, anyway?" Lily asked amid all the confusion. "Isn't he supposed to be here?"

Sirius and Remus looked at each other and bit their lips. "Uh…he's…erm…finally getting around to trying maturing?" Sirius guessed, but Lily obviously was too smart for that.

"Really?"

The two smiled weakly. Remus kicked Sirius under the table for being an idiot.

"Okay, then…never mind…" The table was silent for a few minutes as Remus still went through the black book half-heartedly.

"Should we invite James' sister?" he suddenly asked.

"James has a sister?" Lily and Sirius both said in unison.

Remus rolled his eyes slightly. "Sirius, you've always known he's had a sister."

"Right. I knew that." Sirius looked around nervously.

"What's her name?" Lily asked excitedly. "What year is she in? Older or younger than James? Is she just as immature as the rest of you? How would you rate her maturity?"

"Uh…" Remus stuttered, "Rachel, graduated, older, more mature, uh…seven?"

"Wow…who would've thought that someone in the Potter family would be as cool as that?"

"You don't even know her." Remus protested, but Lily had already formed an image in her mind of Rachel Potter that he couldn't change even if he had to. "Oh, well," he muttered.

"Anyway…here's what I'm thinking for the party…" Sirius said, and a few minutes later the party planning was in full swing again.

James had no idea what was coming.

James was actually right at that moment in Diagon Alley trying frantically to find something for Lily to make up for the whole 'turning people into cats' incident. He had been browsing through the same store for the last hour, a total of five hours actually spent shopping. That alone was too much time spent shopping for any boy, especially a boy who had no experience shopping save for Quidditch.

He picked up a scented candle and smelled it. "Ech!" It smelled like earwax. Definitely not what he was looking for. How did he end up in the scented candle store, anyway? Oh, yeah. It was the only store that didn't frighten him upon walking in. This was probably the reason why he had been sniffing candles that smelt and probably tasted like, various Bertie Bott's Beans.

Maybe he should leave. James looked around for the exit, but found it blocked by the evil saleslady who was determined to make him buy something. Perhaps if he threw her off his track by knocking over some candles…

James' thoughts were cut off by someone's voice calling his name.

"James! Over here!" He looked over by the half off table to find Graziana Harding waving furiously at him.

_Wonderful…_ He thought, walking over to her reluctantly. It wasn't that she wasn't fun to hang out with, or that she was annoying, neither was she ugly, she was gorgeous, but she was forever trying to get him to go out with him. Most teenage boys wouldn't mind this, but James was always trying to get Lily and…well…there was the problem. (Not that he wasn't attracted to her, of course, but Lily at least left a little to the imagination.)

Graziana was a slim five-foot-seven black headed girl with an attitude that suggested she really didn't care about what you thought unless, of course, she did. She was a girl who always got what she wanted, so naturally the fact that James wasn't into her as much as she was him ticked her off considerably. And oh, yeah. She was in Slytherin.

"James Potter! I would never have imagined that you would be in here!" That was a total lie; she had seen him walk discreetly in here and followed him in. "What are you doing?"

"Uh…I'm just…looking for a mother's day present…you can never be too early, right?"

Graziana looked a little confused. "Right…" She quickly changed tactics and began to stroke his arm. "So…what have you been doing this summer? Having out with Sirius and oh, what's-his-face…Remus?"

James hurriedly looked around and found that the saleslady was now busy badgering another customer and the path to the door was open. "Yeah, right…um, I really have to go now…father's day gift and all…" he quickly began to move towards the door.

"But I thought you were looking for a mother's day present?" Graziana tried to keep him from going, but James was already halfway out the door.

_Damn it!_ She thought, watching him practically run out into the street, knocking three people down in the process. _I'll have to do better next time. That Lily Evans really does have way too much power over him. We'll just have to ratify that situation, won't we? _

_One way or another, James Potter, you'll be mine!_

James arrived back home to find the rest of the household in complete turmoil.

"I never said that she could be invited!" Lily was screaming at Sirius and Remus. Her face was beet-red. She had obviously been yelling for some time now. "I don't even have her stupid address! You're the ones who suggested it!"

"Well, if we didn't you as hell sure wouldn't." Sirius pointed out, flicking a grape across the kitchen.

"Who wouldn't be invited to what?" James asked as he came into the kitchen. Instantly Lily stopped shouting and Kat woke up from the nap she had been taking on the kitchen counter.

"Are we still talking about James' surprise par-" Remus quickly jumped over a chair and clamped his hand over her mouth.

"My surprise what?" James asked suspiciously.

"We were going to make you a cake?" Remus said rather unconvincingly.

"Great. Make it chocolate, will you?" James sat at the table exasperatedly.

Sirius sighed dramatically. "Now we have to make you a cake, too? I thought that ignoring you would be enough."

As James and Sirius bickered good-naturedly, Lily went over to Remus and Kat and whispered, "Remember, the party is two days from now. We'll call everyone tomorrow."

The two nodded. The rest of the night was uneventful, but the next day would prove troublesome for what Lily had planned.

Yay I actually wrote this in a day! That's why if you see any discrepancies, you shouldn't point them out to me, because this is what I did all day, besides paint a door.

Don't ask. smiles and pats your head

I love you all! Please review because you love me too! (Or at least because you love the story.)

Emmablk1


	7. Chapter 7

The first owl arrived at precisely two in the morning. James awoke from an unsettling dream involving Lily turning cats into people, Graziana Harding chasing him around with a candle, and Kat tearing Sirius into shreds. (The latter half of the dream was much more enjoyable than the former.) Sirius' arm was lying across his neck, cutting off his circulation, but that was not the immediate reason he had woken up.

There was an owl and he was currently tapping loudly on James' window. There was an owl and James was about ready to throttle it for waking him up. There was an owl and it wouldn't shut the heck up.

James pulled Sirius' arm off of his main supply of air, not really caring whether or not he woke up. If James had to be awake, then he was going to punish the rest of the world for it. Sirius simply rolled over and fell off the bed, repeating sleepily what sounded a lot like, "I wasn't cheating on you, just exploring other options…"

Fighting the urge to go with his first instinct, which was to slam the window down on the bird's silky feathers, James walked zombie-like over to the incessant noise and opened the window. The bird flew instantly in with an air of perkiness that should never be witnessed by any of humankind, especially at two in the morning, and zoomed around the ceiling. James glared at it and imagined the owl slowly roasting over an open fire. He waited for two minutes for the owl to come down and when it didn't comply, he threw Sirius' shoe at it.

The shoe only knocked the wind out of the bird, not rendering it unconscious like James hoped it would have, but it caused the owl to drop the letter and fly rather haughtily out the window. James shut the window and locked it tightly just in case the owl had a thought to fly back in. he entertained himself with the thought of the bird smacking into the window and falling straight down to the ground another story below, but then realized that he didn't care anymore.

He threw the letter over to the side, where it landed next to Remus' sleeping head, and climbed back into his bed intent on sleeping. It had a lot more room now that Sirius was gone, which suited James just fine. Falling asleep again, James promptly forgot about the unopened letter and began to have dreams about owls pecking his eyes out for revenge on their rather annoying brother.

It couldn't have been more than an hour later when the next owl arrived. James heard the tapping again from the window and groaned, turning over and putting his pillow over his ears. "Whoever had the ridiculous notion of using owls for a mail transport system is going to die!" he shouted from under his pillow, half asleep and half wanting to throw another shoe at the bird.

"Actually, I believe they're already dead." Remus sat up from his sleeping bag on the floor and rubbed his eyes. "This is the second time I've heard something in this room tonight…is Sirius snoring again?"

"No, nothing as bad as that. There are birds outside my window." James said into his pillow, trying to learn how to breathe without suffocating beneath it.

Remus picked up the letter beside his head and squinted at it in the dark. Looking up at the window he could clearly see two owls struggling to get in to deliver their letter, intent on getting back home as soon as possible. He glanced back over to James, who was still huddled under his pillow.

"Are you going to let them peck on the window out there all night?" Remus asked and James groaned. Remus sighed and got up to open the window. The two birds flew in, deposited their letters on top of James' inert form, and flew back out into the night sky in a burst of feathers.

Remus was about to close the window again when he saw a sight that made him do a double take. Outside, loitering on every possible surface, were about a hundred owls. Even more were on the house itself, still gripping their letter in their claws, calmly cleaning between their feathers. These were the smart owls, depending on how you looked at it.

"Why haven't you closed the bloody window yet, Moony?" James murmured into his pillow, intent on getting back to bed. Remus quickly recovered from his shock and closed the window once more, turning around to see the letters that had just been dropped upon James. James flipped his head back on top of the pillow and turned over, making the letters fall beside the bed.

"Uh, James?" Remus said quietly. "Aren't you going to read these?" James' whine that escaped from his mouth gave him his answer. _Good._ He thought, rapidly opening one after the other to find exactly what he feared.

The letters were all RSVPs to James' birthday party. James' surprise birthday party. And, if Remus had counted right, there were approximately one hundred and fifty of them outside just waiting for James to open them up and read them.

Just one question remained. Who had been the idiot to tell everyone to RSVP by owl to James' own house?

As if that was a hard question to answer.

However much Remus wanted to wake Sirius up by kicking him in the groin, it would have to wait. If he wanted James to wake up again and figure it all out he would have to wait until morning to kill Sirius. There was only one other person who could help him get rid of the evidence.

Lily Evans.

Unfortunately she was locked in another room with Mrs. Dongle, who was sure to suspect that Remus was just trying to get Lily to come away with him on a secret rendezvous. Or to magically toilet paper the neighbor's house. Either one.

Remus debated for about half a second before deciding it was the price to be paid. Sure, Lily and Mrs. Dongle would massacre him for waking them up at three in the morning, but James could not find out about this party. Then Remus would be more than dead. Whatever that was.

Remus quickly stole out of the room, shutting the door behind him, clutching the letters in his hand. He prayed silently that another owl would not wake James up before he and Lily had a chance to gather up all the letters. He just hoped his prayers were good enough.

* * *

Getting into Mrs. Dongle and Lily's room proved to be the easy part of the mission. It was waking up Lily without also waking up Mrs. Dongle that was the problem.

Remus used a simple spell to unlock the door and crept in silently. The two women slept on opposite sides of the room, but their shapes looked exactly alike. Remus tiptoed toward one bed only to be overcome by the scent of moldy baked ham and day old tea. He instantly went the other direction, convinced that this was not Lily.

Lily didn't smell like anything; thank Merlin, because Remus almost gagged when he stepped too close to Mrs. Dongle. However, she was obviously deeply asleep as she didn't stir when Remus got near her. This was going to be tricky.

"Lily?" Remus tentatively whispered, not sure if he wanted to chance shaking her awake or not. "Lily, wake up…it's me, Remus." It was then that Remus realized how stupid it was to tell her who he was because she was asleep. He reached out a hand to touch hers, absolutely entirely not sure on how to do this without scaring her.

He precariously shook her hand and when that didn't work he pushed her shoulder a little bit. In a flash Lily's eyes were wide open and she let out a piercing scream that lasted about four seconds before Remus clamped his hand over her mouth.

"Shh! It's me, Remus! I'm sorry for waking you up, please don't scream-OUCH!" Remus pulled his hand away from Lily's mouth, inspecting his wound. "You bit me!" he cried incredulously, almost forgetting about Mrs. Dongle for a second.

"Well then, don't put your hand over my mouth." Lily whispered back, her head falling back on her pillow. She put her hands on her head and ran them through her hair. "Why am I awake at three o'clock in the bloody morning?"

"There's an emergency." Remus said seriously, still nursing his bite.

Lily looked over at him tiredly. "Enough of an emergency to wake me up at bloody three in the morning?" she asked.

Remus grimaced. "The world is ending." He said seriously.

Now Lily looked half bored. "Really?" she said lazily, almost completely back to sleep now.

"It will look that way when you take a glance outside. C'mon, we've got to round up some owls."

"Huh?" Lily sat up and strained to look outside, but Remus grabbed her hand and pulled her into the hallway and down the stairs before she got a chance.

"Just promise not to scream again." Remus asked, letting go of her hand to open the door. Lily rolled her half open eyes at him, still basically asleep. He kept the door closed and asked her, "Have you ever seen Alfred Hitchcock's _The Birds_?" she nodded her head slowly. "Well, just imagine that, but with owls." And he opened the door wide, pushing her outside and closing the door behind them without another word.

Lily's eyes bugged out of her head. She was at a loss for words, but at least the shock had woken her up.

"Wha…What are we going to do with all these letters?" she questioned, swallowing hard at the scene around her.

Remus shrugged. "Check off who's coming and who's not?" Lily wouldn't even dignify that with a response.

"I'm going to kill Sirius."

* * *

James had fallen back asleep imagining plucking an owl's feathers out one by one until it was completely bald. It was quite satisfying even if he didn't remember the owl being bald because he had fallen asleep by then. However, he was once again woken up about forty minutes later by some indescribable noise he chose to believe was more owls.

He slammed his pillow against the bed and opened the window about ready to yell at another owl. Then he saw Lily and Remus chasing down what looked to be about a hundred or so birds and grabbing letters from them. James rubbed his eyes over again to see if what he was seeing was a vision. It wasn't.

He looked over at Remus' sleeping pallet, Remus and Lily outside, Sirius still asleep on the floor, and back again only to still be completely confused. Convincing himself that he must be sleepwalking, James stumbled back to bed and collapsed, not even bothering to close the window again.

He woke up again at about seven, saw the window closed and Remus asleep on the floor, and rolled back over and went to sleep.

* * *

Lily stuffed all the RSVPs into her dresser drawers. She counted almost two hundred replies. All of them said yes. And if she weren't so tired from catching owl's posts all night, she would be ecstatic.

She went to bed at about four thirty in the morning not even noticing one unopened letter in the batch.

The return address had one name.

Graziana Harding.

* * *

Ok! That's the end of this chapter…does anyone remember who Graziana is? I do…but I created her. Ah, well you'll just have to re-read the rest of the chapters to find out.

Next chapter! There will be the infamous party that will live on in many minds for eons. And there will be….

Graziana Harding

Sirius getting chased (more than one time)

Spiked butterbeer

A rather drunk Lily…and

James turning 17, finally able to do magic outside of school.

Exciting, no? Oui.

I'll see you next chapter!

Emmablk1


	8. Chapter 8

Yay! I'm so excited to write this chapter because I'm writing in Galveston on my birthday! July fifth is my 17th birthday you guys and late birthday presents are accepted, lol.

Oh, yeah; also because I have been looking forward to this chapter for a long time. It's going to be a fun one! Eight is actually my favorite number, so it makes sense that this chapter is so much fun!!

And if anyone gets a chance will you please take a look at my story "Dying is Just the Beginning" on I'm trying to write a novel and I need all the support I can get. (I'm under the same screen name.) It's not _Harry Potter_, but if you like my writing take a look at it. Please?

Okay, I'll shut up now. No more plugging. Maybe next chapter. (Besides this chapter is fairly long, so you can't be too mad at me for talking. At least I hope not.)

* * *

Lily had rings under her eyes the next morning. She blamed Sirius. When she woke up again at about eight thirty she discovered that she barely had enough make-up left to cover up the bags as well as the humongous pimple that had suddenly appeared right in the middle of her left cheek.

She tried to use magic to zap it away or at very least hide it, but in the end she was convinced that someone had put it there on purpose with a spell that she had no idea how to counteract. Either that or it was one stubborn zit.

Finally she just gave up and got dressed, planning on covering the monster up with her hand all day. She went downstairs to find the marauders sitting at the kitchen table. Remus looked just as bad as she did.

"I swear there were five owls that flew into my room last night!" James was arguing over his chocolate milk. Sirius gave him a skeptical gaze and fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Right," Sirius chuckled, swirling his cereal around with his spoon. "Because that explains why there are no letters in our room and why I remember so much of this." He caught sight of Lily and his face changed from disbelief to surprise. Lily self-consciously covered up her zit.

"Merlin Lily, you and Remus sure complement each other today. Was there a secret rendezvous that I didn't know about?"

"Suck it, will you?" Lily grabbed the milk out of the fridge and reached for a glass from the cupboard.

"Ah, now that depends on what I'm sucking, Lils."

"That's disgusting."

"You enjoyed it."

James looked as if he was going to be sick to his stomach. "Anyways…" he quickly tried to change the subject, not at all content with the mental images he was receiving. "I have to go do something today, so the rest of you get to entertain yourselves." He stopped and rethought what he had said. "And that has nothing to do with what you two were just discussing." Sirius feigned a gloomy exterior.

Remus nodded with the rest of them, but his head snapped up a second later. "Wait, you're going to be gone all day?!"

"I hope not." James got up and walked out the door, leaving his milk untouched. The three left over stared at each other in alarm.

"Well, if no one's going to drink that I will." Sirius said, reaching out and snagging the chocolate milk.

"Sirius this is serious!" Remus and Lily exclaimed at the same time.

Sirius blinked. "Wow. That was ironic in more ways than one." He earned separate but equal stares from both.

"Oh, he's not going to be gone all day." Kat wandered into the room, pouring the abandoned milk Lily had set down into a bowl and drinking from it.

"What do you mean? How could you possibly know that?" Lily let herself get distracted by the sight of an outwardly normal seventeen year old drinking milk from a bowl.

Kat lapped up another sip. "I followed him yesterday." She earned several raised eyebrows. "What? I was bored and I'm a good tracker. He's been going to Diagon Alley mostly."

"Quidditch no doubt." Remus nodded, relaxing a little.

"Hmmm…no. He avoided that store like the plague. He went into a candle store and was in there for about half an hour."

There was a confused silence. "Well…that's…weird." Lily finally commented. "Weird…but refreshing?" Sirius and Remus stared at her.

"He'll be home." Kat reassured them.

"Ok, well as long as he's gone, we should look for some decorations and get the food all ready." Lily said, trying to not go into her ponderings as to why James was in a candle store.

"Right," Remus went into business mode immediately. "The caterer said that the food should apparate in at about five, which gives us an hour before the party starts. We have butterbeer fresh from Hogsmeade that will be here at five thirty to keep that perfect temperature."

"Great. All that's left is music and decorations."

"Uh, Lils…" Sirius started, now halfway through James' leftover milk and just now tuning in.

"Don't. Call. Me. That." Lily gave him an eerie smile and turned back to Remus.

"But-"

"Not now, Padfoot." Remus chimed in.

"But-"

"No!" Lily and Remus shouted in tandem. Kat jumped from her spot on the kitchen counter.

Sirius ignored them. "Decorations are a bad idea!" he insisted.

Lily sighed. "And why, perhaps, would that be?"

"Because then it would be more like a seven-year-old's birthday rather then a seventeen-year-old's."

"Sirius, we're having decorations. Tough luck."

"You're still mad at me for the whole RSVP thing, aren't you?"

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Fine, but just remember that I'm always right." Sirius slumped back and grinned.

Lily turned to Remus and back again. "I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

It was twelve o'clock and due to Sirius' annoying mantra ("I'm just saying…seven or seventeen…you gotta choose.") that he had adopted over the past hours Remus and Lily banished him to the living room to figure out how to get a good band on short notice.

However, forty minutes later Sirius showed up in the attic once again to annoy them.

"Sirius! I thought I told you to stay in the living room- I mean find a band!" Lily was covered in dust from the attic and apparently had discovered that dust aggravated her zit. It felt twice as big as before. She was not in a mood to be messed with.

"I did."

"What do you mean you did? It's been forty minutes!"

"Lils, calm down. I got The Sinister Sisters."

That managed to stun Lily and Remus. "You got the most popular band this side of Britain?" Remus stuttered from halfway across the room, his hands coated in dust and holding some old essays of James' father.

"Yeah, well…I have connections." Sirius evaded, trying to be mysterious.

"I'm not even going to ask. I don't care. But if they don't show up tonight I'm going to take out the rest of my anger towards you on your wand, if you know what I mean." Lily's eyes were blazing so brightly Sirius just nodded and tried to take a step back.

"Hey, I think I found something!" Remus called after starting the search again. He ran over to Lily and Sirius carrying a big box in his hands. It was completely saturated with grime and filth.

"Oh thank Merlin." Lily opened the box and pulled out a blue banner. "'It's a boy'. We're not using something that's from the fifties…Ooh there's a lot of Hawaiian stuff in here!"

"Hawaiian's good. Lots of coconut bras?" Sirius picked one up and grinned.

Lily snatched it out of his hands. "Don't even think about it!"

Remus put on a lei and smiled. "I think this just might work."

Sirius smirked a crooned, "Everybody's getting laid tonight! Get it?" Remus and Lily groaned together and gave him the same look of disgust.

"You know, you should really take that act on the road."

* * *

Six hours later over two hundred teenagers milled around the Potter's house to celebrate James' seventeenth birthday. The only hitch was that James, that happy seventeen year old, had not shown up yet.

"Where is he? I thought you said he would be home by now!" Lily hissed at Kat, who was currently getting ready to launch herself at Sirius, who was chatting up a brunette Gryffindor. She in turn looked more than willing to do anything Sirius said.

"I said he'd be home, not when he'd be home." Kat said sidetracked by Sirius catching sight of her and scampering off. She gave up. "Look, he's coming, ok?"

Lily sighed and tried to relax, but she was too high strung. There were two hundred people here and they were getting restless. The food and cake weren't being touched now, but it was only a matter of time and if the butterbeer weren't automatically replenishing itself she'd be worried that it would be gone by now.

Amidst all her worries, Lily suddenly caught sight of thick black hair on an incredibly gorgeous girl who was calmly sipping from a plastic cup of butterbeer ad being hit on. Her eyes went wide as she did a double take and her blood pressure went up ten notches. Lily stalked off to find Sirius before she exploded in front of her mortal enemy.

"Who the heck invited Graziana Harding?!" She shouted at Sirius, who was cowering away from Kat while trying to hit on the same girl as before as well as look cool at the same time.

Unfortunately right as Lily shouted at the blubbering idiot, James walked in the door and everyone tried to say "Surprise!" at the same time. It didn't work as expected, but it did drown Lily out and manage to scare the crap out of James. Only a few people around Lily actually heard her.

"Oh sorry Lily, m'dear." Lily spun around to find Graziana standing directly behind her looking poised as always and ready to pounce on her enemies. She constantly reminded Lily of a lioness. _Too bad she doesn't look like a walrus,_ Lily thought. "I did get an invite, if you must pry into my personal life. And I sent back the RSVP also. Just in case." She raised her perfectly manicure eyebrow, daring Lily to contradict her. "I figured Jamesie wouldn't want to miss me."

_I figure he wouldn't miss you if I pushed you off a cliff…_Lily didn't care that she was being ultra violent tonight. But before she could dare to say what was on her mind, Sirius appeared by her.

"Graziana! I didn't think you could make it! Lils never checked you off." He pulled her into a bear hug, most likely crushing her ribs. Lily enjoyed the few seconds in which Graziana looked as if she were going to die from lack of air and decided to forget temporarily about Sirius calling her by that awful nickname. When Sirius released her she gasped for oxygen and muttered weakly about coming for James.

_I bet you did come for him, you little witch._ Lily thought, horrified at the thought of Graziana and James together. She tried to forget the mental images.

"Speaking of James," Sirius looked around animatedly. "Where is the happy seventeen year old? I thought I heard him walk in."

_Hiding, I would think, if he knew that Graziana were here._ Lily was blissfully aware that James hated Graziana's guts with a passion. Suddenly she caught sight of Remus across the crowded room trying to get her attention through the throng of people. He was pointing at something and she tried to follow his gaze. His mouth was moving, but Lily had never been good as lip reading…

"Somebody spiked the butterbeer?!" Lily sighed and felt a headache coming on. Sirius glanced down at his cup of butterbeer and grinned.

"So that's why the taste is so much tangier." He mused, taking another swig of the liquid and emptying the cup. "Well, I'm off to get more; have fun searching for James!" before Lily could stop him he had maneuvered his way through the crowd and disappeared.

Lily put pressure on her forehead to try to relieve the pain roaming through her skull, searching for a place to rest. This wasn't supposed to be stressful! There weren't supposed to be this many people here, the butterbeer was not supposed to be spiked (by Sirius, no doubt…), James was not supposed to be talking to Graziana, and Lily was not supposed to have a massive headache because of it all!

Wait. James was talking to Graziana?

Sure enough Lily whirled around to find Graziana and found James standing next to her. She felt her stomach drop as James smiled that smile at Graziana, clearly having a very good time. Her headache started to intensify as Graziana put her hand on James' shoulder, the most flirtatious Lily had seen her be with him in a long time.

The music group Sirius had been able to snag began playing a more upbeat song, which made Lily's head hurt more and distracted her away from the ache she felt in her heart.

There came a crash from her right and Lily was dimly aware that the window was broken, but she couldn't stop thinking about how perfect the two looked together, a couple.

As people ran over to check out what happened, someone pushed a cup of butterbeer into her hands, completely full. _Well, at least it should make my headache go away for a while._ She took a couple of sips and came to the conclusion that it was definitely spiked. Remus knew his alcoholic tainted drinks, that was for sure. It was bitter, but it helped.

Lily retreated to a corner to drink silently, but was soon joined by others wanting to have fun. Never one to pass up a good time (At least when she was slightly tipsy, anyway) Lily soon became the center of attention after being handed more than her share of butterbeers.

* * *

James really wasn't that surprised when he got home. If the loud noise coming out of his house wasn't a tip off, the fact that he had heard Sirius say something about in his sleep last night was.

What was really surprising was that Graziana Harding was there.

_Wonderful,_ James thought as he plastered a fake smile on his face as he made his way towards Lily but got detoured by Graziana. _Just what I needed…_ He still had his overcoat on and he instinctively pulled the box he had hidden in it closer to his body as he got closer. Graziana had always reminded him of a lioness for some reason. Maybe it was the eyebrows.

"Jamesie!"

Merlin that nickname was annoying.

"Graziana…good of you to come…" James swallowed hard and steeled himself for the intense round of flirting that was about to come. Flirting with Graziana was like being in the wild at feeding time; no matter how hard you ran you just couldn't get away from the man-eaters.

"Don't you want to take off your coat, Jamesie?" Graziana batted her eyelashes at him in what she thought was a becoming way, but made James want to blink really badly.

He pulled the box even closer to him and gave her the smile again. "No, I'd really rather not. Have you seen Lily?"

She immediately turned off the never ending flirt faucet. "No I have not seen Lily. Why would you want to talk to her for?"

James raised his eyebrow. "She threw the party for me."

"Right," Graziana giggled, brushing her fingers across James' shoulder. "And aren't you excited that I'm here?" she moved closer to him and he attempted to move a step back.

"Oh I'm so, so excited…" he hit someone who was right behind him and got butterbeer spilled all down his back.

Graziana wasn't letting up. "Hmmm…maybe you should get out of that now, huh?" her eyes were half closed and James seriously considered running away if it weren't for her death grip on his shirt. And the fact that her abnormal eyebrows held him spellbound.

James cleared his throat and she looked up at him, a little ticked. It soon melted when she discovered how to make this work to her advantage.

"I still have to give you my present, Jamesie." Without allowing a word of protest, she pulled him over to the side of the room and up the stairs. James could hardly get a word out edgewise.

"Uh…this might not be the best idea…you know, it being my party and all…" James stuttered while trying to break free from her grasp and trip up the stairs. "Merlin do you lift weights or something?" her grip was like having a stone statue hold on to you.

Graziana didn't say a word as she dragged him. That only succeeded in freaking James out more. She led him to a random door on the second floor and the music from downstairs started to subside a bit.

She looked around as she opened it and dragged him inside. "This room yours, James?"

"Uh, no…" James swallowed hard. "It's my parents'."

That didn't seem to faze her as much as he hoped it would. "Stay." She ordered and she primly turned around and shut the door behind them.

"Do you want my present now, Jamesie, or later?"

James cleared his throat again, exceedingly uncomfortable. Graziana looked like she was about to die if she didn't take some clothes off fast and he really didn't want to be put in that situation. He prayed for anything to come along to get him off the hook. Anything.

Instantly an angel stumbled into the room on accident. Apparently Graziana had forgotten to lock the door.

She looked so different that James didn't recognize her at first. It was Lily, who was sporting an orange lei around her head that clashed horribly with her hair.

"Oh my gosh…I am so sorry!" she slurred, doubling over and trying to hide her grinning face. "I'll just…I mean…doorway, yeah."

It was then that James realized that she was incredibly drunk. Lily was now snorting and about to be on the floor. James figured that if she got down on the floor once she might not be able to get back up again. He quickly ran to her and pulled her up.

Graziana gave her a look she reserved only for those who couldn't hold their liquor. "Gee Evans, first time drinker? Learn to eat before you drink, will you?"

James sent her a scathing look. "Graziana will you just go get some water or something?" _Please. Anything. Just leave._ She hesitated for a moment and then stood up a little straighter.

"Sure Jamesie. Anything for you." As she walked towards the door she deliberately did not look Lily in the eye, but gave James a quick peck on the cheek that left a red mark from her lipstick. (Lily, of course, could have cared less at the moment, considering that she seemed very interested in the carpet fibers on the floor.)

Once she left James let out a sigh of relief. "Ok, Lily you go here," he set Lily down on the bed very carefully where she struggled to sit upright. "And the lock goes here." Swiftly he turned the lock and put a quick spell on it to ensure that Graziana couldn't get back in.

"Jamesie," Lily stammered, looking up at him with a silly grin on her face.

Merlin that nickname was adorable.

James was suddenly reminded that they were in a locked room together and Lily was very, very drunk. It would be extremely easy to get away with something here. Then he remembered that only Sirius would do something like that.

Lily slumped forward and James raced to grab her and pull her upright again. "Jamesie, Jamesie, Jamesie…"

"Yes Lilsie?"

She giggled at that one. "I have your present!"

"Really now?"

"Uh-huh. Do you want it?"

James swallowed. _YES! Calm down, calm down…it's probably not what you're thinking anyways._ "Sure…"

Without warning Lily took his head in her hands and kissed him full on the lips. It only lasted for a few seconds before there was an urgent rapping on the door.

"James! We kinda need your help out here!" Remus' voice was tight and strained. Even though James chose to ignore him for a few minutes as Lily continued to kiss him, he sighed and pulled away from her. Immediately Lily fell over onto the bed, passed out.

James leaned in close to her and whispered. "We're not telling anyone about this." Then he left and joined Remus in the hallway.

"What's the big urgent problem?" James asked, careful to close the door enough so that Remus could see what was inside.

"Well, while you've been MIA, your house has sustained two broken windows, three make-out parties in various sections of the house, and one couple fornicating in your room."

"Gerald and Jessica?"

"Yup."

"Don't worry about them; they'll clean up after their done and we can burn the sheets later."

Remus decided not to take that comment too seriously.

"I'll fix everything else, just make sure that Lily gets into her own room, ok?"

He decided to let that one slide too.

The two slit up as James went to repair the windows, thankful that he was allowed to use magic now, and Remus dragged Lily to her room.

However, Lily, being the unpredictable one, woke up in the middle of Remus' dragging and took off downstairs. Remus chose not to follow her and get Gerald and Jessica out of James' room instead.

After all, Lily was a big girl.

* * *

Enjoy? Leave a review!! 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The party was far from over, apparently. After doing a thorough cleanup of the house and checking to make sure nothing else would be broken, James still couldn't find Lily.

"And why did you let her go, pray tell?" James asked Remus again after he had been told that Lily was on the loose.

Remus shrugged. "Even if I locked her in her room, she probably would have gotten out anyway. She's not dumb, James, even if she is a bit…intoxicated."

"That's an understatement," James glanced nervously around the room, as if he expected Lily to suddenly stand on a table and start stripping.

"Don't worry," Remus assured him, squeezing his shoulder in a comforting way, "half the people here won't remember anything tomorrow morning. They'll be too busy nursing their hangovers provided by Sirius."

"Yeah, that's really comforting."

"I try."

* * *

Sirius, who was across the room, was at that moment choosing to ignore the fact that he saw Lily contemplating climbing on top of a table. He took another swig of his spiked butterbeer instead. There came the slightest touch at his shoulder, but he was easily distracted by the fact that his cup had suddenly become empty for some odd reason.

"Sirius Black you'd better turn around this instant before you inexplicably get turned into a poodle."

Sirius grinned and turned to see Rachel Potter standing directly in front of him. She had the trademark black Potter hair, but instead of being wild and unmanageable like James' it was sleek and smooth, hanging past her shoulders with a slight curl on the end.

Twenty last week, Rachel was practically glowing. She beamed at Sirius, excited to see him again. However, her smile quickly turned into a frown when she saw how short she was compared to Sirius.

"Who gave you permission to be taller than me, Siri?" She teased, poking him in the chest.

Sirius chose to ignore the nickname and smirked, beginning to loom over her, nearly a foot taller than her now. "What, you don't like it?"

Rachel wasn't the least bit fazed. "Right, like you're going to intimidate me. I still remember when you were in diapers." She casually flipped her hair over her shoulder.

Sirius reddened a bit and stepped back. "You weren't old enough to remember that." He protested.

"I wasn't talking about when you were a baby," Rachel grinned. "I was referring to third year when-"

He quickly put his hand over her mouth, glancing around to see if anyone was actually listening, his face turning a darker shade of crimson. "You promised that you'd never mention that in a crowded room!"

Rachel pulled his hand away from her mouth. "You have lip gloss on your hand now."

"Eww."

"You like it." She wiped some gloss off that had smeared away from her mouth and smirked at Sirius. The result was actually utterly charming. To Sirius anyway.

Dazed a bit, Sirius quickly recovered and muttered, "I didn't think you'd be here."

"What?! And miss my baby brother's big birthday? Blasphemy!" Suddenly something from the other side of the room caught her attention. "Hold on a minute…is that Lily Evans?"

Sirius turned to find Lily mounted on top of the gigantic moose head above the fireplace. "Wow," he laughed, "I didn't think Lily was that into animals."

"You know, I was never quite sure why we had a gigantic moose head, but now it all seems so clear."

"Yes, well, people tend to do crazy things for love. Or for spiked butterbeer for that matter." He watched as someone handed Lily another glass, her prize for climbing in a skirt.

Rachel smirked. "Like run around in a diaper on Valentine's Day, singing love ballads to unsuspecting first years?"

Sirius frowned. "Now that was a bet. One which I won, mind you."

"What was it that you sang to me again? A rather terrible piece of poetry if memory serves…" Rachel's grin reached Cheshire proportions.

"Yes, but I wasn't in love with you."

"That's not what the poem said!"

Sirius was about to retort, but a glimpse of Kat suddenly made him shrink ten inches behind Rachel.

"Siri! Have you just taken a sudden interest in my breasts, or are you hiding from someone?" Rachel laughed as Sirius tried to disappear.

"Huh? Oh. You know I've always loved your breasts, Rach, but right now we've got to get out of this room."

"We?" Rachel craned her neck to catch a look at who he was hiding from.

"Don't look!"

"You're such a girl."

"You have to come with me, because if I need something to throw at her, you're just easy enough to lift, but heavy enough to make her trip." He started walk backwards, leading her out of the room and up the stairs.

"Oh, well it's always nice to know you're needed."

"Plus this is a rather nice view."

"And yet my knee is in the direct vicinity of your crotch."

Sirius paused for a moment and reconsidered.

"Or we could just run."

* * *

James could only stare. The sight of Lily sitting on top of a massive moose head was certainly not something one saw everyday, which is what most of the party had figured out.

A crowd had, understandably, gathered around the class valedictorian sitting atop the animal, her skirt pulled up to almost the top of her thigh. Her face red, she giggled uncontrollably as she tried to balance her cup with the moose's antlers.

"Jamsie!" She cried out when he got within her line of sight (which wasn't very far away from where she sat). "I like your antlers!"

_Oh dear Merlin…_ James thought as heads swiveled to catch his reaction. _Look at her skirt. No! Don't look at her skirt! Bad James!!_ Unable to focus his eyes properly, he blushed involuntarily and earned laughter from the crowd.

"Er…Lily? Why don't you come down now?" James asked while trying to stare directly in her face. Her eyes were unfocused.

"Your moose is itchy. Ooh fun word! Mooooooose." Some far drunker person in the crowd joined in and soon half the room was shouting 'MOOOOOSE!'

"Dear Lord, the house is a funny farm." Remus appeared next to James, watching the spectacle.

"How did you manage to avoid all this? Have you not had anything to drink in the past two hours?" James asked, unable to figure out how Remus was the most sober one there.

"I drank before the butterbeer was spiked. Now I just have to use the loo a lot." Remus explained, still looking around like the world had gone mad.

"Alright, that was a little much, thanks for that."

Remus moved closer to Lily and shouted up at her, managing to avoid looking directly up her skirt. "Lily, if the moose is itchy, why don't you come down now?" Lily pouted, so he added, "James will catch you, I promise."

"You promise?!" James cried, joining Remus under the moose and not managing to look anywhere else besides under Lily's skirt. _Damn it. So much for self-control._

"Okay!" Lily perked up and before James could brace himself, she leaped off of the moose and clobbered him, knocking him to the ground.

Her butterbeer had spilled all over his face and he had the wind knocked out of him, but Lily leaned over him, a pouting look on her face, and all that was forgotten.

"You didn't catch me." She stuck her lower lip out in sadness. James couldn't help but smile.

"How about bed time now?" James asked in a voice one reserved for four year olds. Lily sat back on James' legs and yawned.

"Ok, time for bed!" Remus helped her up and began to lead her over to the stairs.

"Wait a second. I don't trust you with her anymore, not after last time." James hopped up (with many bruises threatening to come tomorrow) and waved Remus away, taking Lily's arm.

"I like Jamsie better," Lily agreed, leaning her head on James' shoulder. James smiled weakly and took her to the stairs, where she immediately collapsed and left him to pick her up.

"You're so strong Jamesie-Poo," She whispered as he carried her up the steps. Her eyes were closed and she had her head on his chest. "That's why I love you. Because you're so strong."

It was barely audible and she was half asleep, not to mention drunk, but James wavered on the next step. He nearly fell back and tumbled down with her in his arms, but he managed to stand upright before writing it off to the intoxication and continuing on to her room.

* * *

Ok, I know it's been a long time. A very long time. But I got stuck for quite a while and just recently decided to take it back up again.

However, next time we will begin with what happened to Sirius and Rachel and their evasion with Kat and then show some of the aftermath of the party. Please stay tuned!

Emmablk1


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Ah, the infamous tenth chapter. I cannot believe this story has gotten this far. Thank you for all your reviews even though I'm a terrible writer who doesn't update.

I'm so sorry that I haven't updated this story in…way too long. I know a lot of you have been waiting for the next chapter.

On an upbeat note, this chapter is really funny, if I do say so myself. Enjoy!

__

Sirius and Rachel ducked into the first door they could find upstairs; the bathroom.

"Well, this is awfully romantic Sirius. Is this where you take all your first dates?" Rachel laughed and sat on the closed toilet seat.

Sirius had his ear to the door, listening to make sure Kat had left. "Huh? Oh, yeah." He said distractedly. Rachel smirked. She decided to have a little fun with him.

"It's kind of hot in here, don't you think?" Sirius didn't respond. "I'm thinking I should take this off." She tugged at her shirt as if she were boiling.

He was still distracted by the noise outside the door, absolutely sure that Kat was still out there somewhere, ready to pounce on him the moment she found him.

"Uh-huh, you do that."

Rachel rolled her eyes and kicked it up a notch. "I think you're right. Besides I have this amazing lace bra that I've been dying to show to someone."

Sirius didn't turn away from the door, but responded. "As long as it's black and see through, I will never have a problem with you taking off your clothes." He grinned and finally faced her, eying her top with a leer.

Rachel crossed her arms, spoiling the effect. "Never going to happen, Siri."

His face crumpled, sticking out his tongue. "Don't call me that."

"You've trapped me in a bathroom and now you're giving me orders? How dare you, Sirius Black!" She stood up, trying her best to tower over him.

Sirius did his best courtier impression and half-bowed. "I am dreadfully sorry, milady. How I could have ever done you this disservice?" He did his best to look solemn, but utterly failed midsentence.

"Well, do you at least have some activity planned after cornering me in here?"

Sirius laughed, moving closer. Rachel leaned back, suddenly feeling very small. "I believe I can think of a few things." He said, raising his eyebrows.

Rachel swallowed, but held her ground, however shaky it felt beneath her. "Never going to happen."

Sirius only smirked.



* * *

Lily was finally asleep. It had only taken three blankets, a very fluffy pillow and at least twenty minutes of pleading from James.

And while James was incredibly relieved that he didn't have to watch over her every second anymore (unless she happened to sleepwalk, which he sincerely prayed she wouldn't), there was only one very serious problem.

The door was jammed shut.

He sighed quietly, sure that some mystical creature had it out for him tonight. Reaching in his pocket for his wand, James suddenly realized it was gone. It must have fallen out when he had been crumpled on the ground after Lily jumped on him.

_Bloody hell._

He struggled with the doorknob for a few minutes, but after a few tugs it began to screech horribly. It wanted him to fail, he was sure. There was no way to alert Remus or Sirius without waking Lily. And there was nowhere to sit or lay down except the floor or the bed.

And he was definitely not going near that bed.

James looked over at Lily, her lithe form suddenly seeming incredibly seductive even though she was drooling lightly on the pillow. He had it bad.

He settled in on the most comfortable part of the carpet and managed to doze off for a total of three minutes. Then he was jolted out of his light sleep by a tumultuous crash downstairs.

Unfortunately Lily also woke up, shouting "Oh God no, don't touch the green puppies!" as she did.

"Lily?" James asked quietly as another thunderous sound came from below. He stood next to her as she sat on the bed, holding her head in her hands. "Are you ok?" He couldn't see her very well in the dark.

"James?" She looked up at him. "I don't feel very well…"

_Well that's not surprising, considering you had quite the fall off that moose._ Suddenly that brought back the memory of Lily's underwear and James slapped himself mentally. His conscience chastised him, yelling at him. _What did I tell you about that?! You never listen to me…_

"I'm sorry, I really would have left, but the door…and my wand is…" James trailed off when it became apparent that Lily probably wasn't or couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. He stood there awkwardly for a minute, thinking maybe he should say something else, when suddenly Lily pulled out her wand and pointed it at the door. It came open and the booming sounds that were muffled from before now were even louder.

James hesitated for a moment, torn between staying with her to make sure she was ok and leaving to attend his own party. Finally, he sat next to her on the bed. The movement, however, caused the queasiness that was already present in Lily's stomach to multiply by ten.

"Oh…I really don't feel good."

James knew he should have seen it coming, but he was unprepared for when Lily suddenly leaned over and threw up all her chugged butterbeers. He was glad that it was dark enough that he couldn't see the stuff coming out of her mouth. Unfortunately, he could still feel it.

He figured the least that he could do was to hold her hair back. Plus it smelled really good. Like strawberries. And it was really soft. He wanted to bury his head in it.

Merlin, he was sick.

"I'm so sorry." Lily moaned when she had finished. James let go of her hair, letting it slip between his fingers. She put her aching head on his shoulder. "Happy birthday," She said quietly.

James, his lap covered in puke, tired and missing his own party, suddenly couldn't help but smile.



* * *

When Remus heard the first crash, he assumed that it was just the giant moose head coming off the wall finally. After Lily's grand adventure on it, there had been a line to get on, as if it were the new attraction at Disney World.

When the second crash occurred, Remus realized that the living room suddenly sounded like a quidditch match. He prayed that he wasn't right.

Putting down the book he had been reading after it became apparent that the birthday boy wasn't going back to the party, Remus dashed out of James' room and ran right into Sirius.

Rachel was right behind him, closing the door to the bathroom and looking slightly flushed. Remus raised his eyebrows. "And just what were you two doing in the bathroom?" He asked, a light smile on his face.

Sirius didn't miss a beat. "Let's just say the ground was shaking, shall we?"

Rachel rolled her eyes, but her flush deepened. "That would be coming from downstairs, Siri." She insisted.

There came another crash, this one sounding like a window breaking. "Sounds like a game of quidditch." Sirius noted.

He was wrong. Sort of. There were bludgers ricocheting off the walls, the ceiling, and anything that could be knocked over. Remus caught a glint of gold flying around the room and the quaffle was being tossed around on the ground. All were part of James' big birthday present his parents had sent. People were not on broomsticks, though. Yet.

"Can I play?" Sirius called out to several boys who were holding broomsticks.

Remus looked at him. "Since when do you play?"

Sirius' eyes glanced over at Rachel, who was busy watching the snitch zoom across the room and calculating the odds of her catching it. Remus followed his gaze and shook his head.

"Never going to happen, Padfoot." Sirius glared at him.

"Where's James?" Rachel asked, suddenly coming out of her stupor. "Isn't he supposed to be down here? This is his party, right?"

"I suspect where he is has something to do with where Lily is." Remus said distractedly. He was busy trying to figure out how to do some damage control.

"Ah. Red hair. Pretty green eyes. Quick tongue. Got it."

Sirius shook Remus out of his planning mode. "C'mon Moony; let's just play. It's the only way that we'll be able to get all the balls back into the box." Then he erupted in laughter at what he had just said.

Remus sighed and shrugged. "Fine. It's not as if more damage can be inflicted on this house. We're dead anyway."

"Think happy thoughts." Sirius grinned and ran off to steal James' broom.

"He needs a leash." Rachel said.

Remus nodded. "You have no idea."

* * *

Five windows were broken before the night was over. No matter how hard Remus tried to get them to play outside (considering that they were practically outside anyway, what with the windows being broken and all) Sirius maintained that playing inside made the game more of a sport. Logic began lacking at around four in the morning.

By six in the morning almost everyone had either fallen asleep on any available surface or had left via floo powder. It had obviously been quite the party; an infamous party at that.

The marauders, Lily, and Rachel had been scattered across the house.

Remus ended up passing out in the kitchen after fixing all the windows and most of the broken antiques (all the pieces he could find, anyway).

Sirius had been attacked by Kat while on the broom and ended up hiding in a hall closet, sleeping on a pile of coats.

Rachel found her old room and after locking the door, had a semi-restful night. She had a disturbing dream about Sirius and then dreamed about quidditch the rest of the night.

And James was still with Lily, never leaving even though it sounded like war downstairs. Lily did clean him off with a flick of her wand, but then promptly fell asleep on his lap. James was in complete bliss.

All in all, it had been the best seventeenth birthday party James could have hoped for.

* * *

I really, really hope you guys liked it. It wasn't the best chapter, perhaps, but definitely still an update!

Let me know how it was- just because I haven't updated in a while doesn't mean I don't want some encouragement!

And if you have any suggestions on what you want to see happen during the rest of the summer, I'm always open for some.

Thanks!!

Emmablk1


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I know- an update so soon after the last one?! What is this world coming to??

Enjoy!

* * *

Lily awoke to a furious pounding in her head. She couldn't remember what had happened the night before and when she tried to the pounding intensified. It was as if a hundred owls were pecking their way through her skull. She was going to die, she was sure of it.

She snuggled deeper into the covers, trying to burrow her way through the bed. Hopefully this would make things more comfortable. It took a few seconds to notice that what she was burying her head into wasn't cotton. It felt more like blue jeans, in fact. And smelled like oranges for some reason.

Sitting up, Lily discovered that opening her eyes made it far too bright in the room, what with the sun streaming in through the wide windows. When she could finally focus again she couldn't believe what she saw. She rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

James was lying in what looked like a rather uncomfortable position, his head turned at a weird angle to avoid the headboard. Apparently Lily had slept on his lap all night.

Now it felt like someone was drilling a hole through her head. Holy crap.

Did something happen last night that lead to this? Did…did she and James…? _No…No!! For Merlin's sake, we still have all of our clothes on! Nothing happened…right? _

Lily closed her eyes and tried to picture last night. Memories were blurry; she could see a myriad of butterbeers, lots of dizzying colors, and her sitting on top of something really fuzzy, but that was it. Nothing too out of the ordinary. Except for the fact that she and James slept in the same bed all night.

James turned over on his stomach, catching Lily's hand beneath his body. A blush crawled over her skin, making it three shades brighter. She quickly pulled her hand out. It was still warm and now smelled slightly like oranges too.

The movement woke James up, his hazel eyes glazed over until he saw Lily, which brought a bright smile to his face. Lily's blush deepened, if that was possible.

"Why do you smell like oranges?" she blurted out, unable to control her motor skills. James looked at her with a lopsided grin, making her insides turn to mush.

"Who wants to hurt the green puppies?" he countered.

Lily's eyes widened and she nearly crumpled in pain. Apparently any movement of the face resulted in mind-numbing throbbing. "I have no idea what you're talking about." She said evasively, picking at a snag in the bed comforter.

"Then you will never know the reason for the oranges."

Lily got up, ignoring more head pain. "I need caffeine." She got halfway to the door before James spoke.

"So…don't you want to know?" He asked enigmatically.

Lily froze. "What are you talking about? I'm not telling you about the green puppies, if that's what you mean." James laughed.

"I meant 'don't you want to know why we're in bed together'?" His grin was now almost too wide for his face.

"Um…no," Lily stuttered, trying to hide her overwhelming curiosity. "I really don't know why I would…" All she wanted at the moment was the get the hell out of there. This was quite possibly the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to her. Unless there was something that she couldn't remember from last night, Merlin forbid.

James laughed, sitting up. "So you liked it?"

Lily sighed, agitated. "What could I possibly like about this situation, James?"

"Oh I don't know…waking up next to me? Isn't nice?" James' smile diminished a bit, his face almost turning serious.

"W-what?" Lily was thinking seriously of backing up and running towards the door. Her heart fluttered a bit, something she hoped was a sign of a heart attack and not anything like feelings.

James paused, looking seriously at her for probably the first time since they had met. "Because I really liked it. Waking up next to you, I mean."

Lily's heart stopped beating. In her mind she thought of a million responses, ranging from the absurd ("I know exactly what you mean") to accusing him of some obvious prank ("You're kidding, right?"). But all that came out of her mouth were four words, tripping over themselves as she said them.

"I've got to go."

She practically ran from the room, trying hard not to stumble over her own feet. This wasn't happening. James never said things like this. He was there to annoy her; to make obvious dirty jokes and prank the Slytherins whether or not they deserved it. _None of this is happening_, she justified to herself. _He did not just say that, I did not just get excited that he said that, and I definitely did NOT just wake up in bed with him. This whole party was just a horrible, horrible dream._

But even as she thought it all out and rationalized it in her mind, she knew it wasn't true. And to add onto the confusion, her headache was only getting worse from all of this unnecessary thought and rushing she was doing trying to get away.

It was too much. She needed something to calm her down. A puppy or a really thick book, perhaps. Or possibly a psychologist.

* * *

­­­­­­­­­­­­­

Remus awoke to a very rude Lily opening and slamming the cabinets in the kitchen and muttering to herself.

"This cannot be happening, this cannot be happening," She was saying as she slammed the last cabinet above her and continued with the ones on bottom. Obviously she was unaware that Remus had been sleeping soundly on the kitchen table before she had stomped in. "This isn't happening. That's right; nothing happened. Nothing happened…and why is there nothing to eat in this stupid place?!"

Remus sat up, his legs swinging over the table and stared at her. "You do know that to the untrained eye you look crazy, right?"

Lily jumped about a foot in the air. "Remus! I didn't see you there." She said, looking embarrassed.

"The definition of insanity is repeating an action over and over expecting different results." He gave her a look. "Just in case you were wondering."

"Point taken." She sat down at the table, burying her head in her hands.

"Hangover?" Remus asked, getting off the table and opening the fridge, searching for anything that might be edible. He took her moaning as a yes.

"Worst. Morning. Ever." Lily groaned. At least, that's what Remus thought she said. It was kind of hard to understand what she was saying when her mouth was facing the table.

Remus grabbed a bottle of milk and two glasses, setting them down on the table. "I'm guessing that this has something to do with where James is this morning." He sat and poured Lily a glass.

Lily lifted her head and sniffed the milk cautiously. "How did you know that?" she glared at him suspiciously.

"Well, since he never came back down after he carried you up to your room, then I just thoug-"

"He _carried me_ to my room?!" Lily now looked physically sick. "This is bad, this is very bad."

Remus took a sip of the milk, thinking. "Exactly how much do you remember from last night?" He phrased his words carefully.

Lily shook her head. "This is extremely bad."

He understood. "Ah. That much, huh?"

She chugged her milk, leaving a slight milk moustache. Taking a deep breath, Lily steadied herself to try to explain the situation to him. "This morning James and I…" she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"…did unspeakably naughty things to each other?" Remus and Lily turned around to find Sirius leaning in the doorway, trying to get the pain in his neck to subside. Sleeping all night on a pile of coats could do that to you.

Lily gave him a glare that let him know in no uncertain terms that she was going to kill him. "Sirius, go away or I'm going to surgically attach Kat to you." She threatened, but Sirius only smiled.

"How's that hangover hanging, Lils?" He teased, grabbing the milk off the table and drinking straight from the bottle.

"Sirius, can you just leave? The instant you walked in I had a premonition that I was going to kill you in the very near future and it's looking like that's going to be coming true."

Sirius was impressed. "Uh, wow. Note to self: Never speak to Lily when she has a hangover."

They sat in uncomfortable silence as Lily massaged her forehead. Three minutes later, Sirius couldn't help but say the phrase that had been running around his head for two and a half minutes.

"So…You and James looked awfully comfortable when I checked on you this morning. New sleeping arrangements, perhaps?" The instant after he said it, Sirius knew he shouldn't have. Lily's eyes locked with his and it was like seeing his life flash before him. Lily was out of her chair so fast that Sirius didn't even see her get up. All he felt was the slap and then the floor when he hit it.

From the floor Sirius stared up at Lily, half in admiration and half in shock. He knew she had it in her, he just never thought her anger would be directed at him. He always though James would be the first to feel her wrath. He locked eyes with Remus, who was as shocked as he was.

Lily was breathing heavily, her hand still in midair from hitting him. It took all her willpower to calm herself down. For a moment she felt amazing, her hangover forgotten. Who knew all it would take was to slap Sirius? Then everything from this morning came rushing back, along with this nagging feeling that she was missing out on something big from last night.

She turned and stalked out of the kitchen, nearly running over Rachel in the process. Rachel took one look at the scene before her and started giggling. Sirius in the meantime had recuperated his wits, calling after Lily, "I didn't hear you disagreeing there, Lils!" But his heart wasn't in it.

Rachel finally stopped giggling long enough to help Sirius off the floor. She looked at the both of them. "One of us should probably go after her," She suggested. Both boys were incredibly silent at this statement.

"Don't look at me. I'm the one who just got slapped." Sirius rubbed his cheek defensively.

"For something that you said to her, I'm sure. You should apologize!" Sirius didn't meet her eyes. Rachel sighed and looked towards Remus expectantly.

Remus shook his head. "For once, I'm with him." He pointed at an ego-bruised Sirius. "Lily's very scary right now."

Rachel sighed. "Fine. I'll go comfort her." She walked out, muttering, "Idiots."

* * *

After nearly an hour of searching Rachel finally found Lily sitting in the garden, silently pulling the petals off of flowers. Kat was next to her, sitting with her elbows on her knees, head in her hands. She was staring at Lily with curiosity, as if she couldn't figure her out.

Rachel sat down, putting Lily in the middle. "So, judging by the welt that Sirius is sporting, I'm guessing that something happened this morning."

Lily said nothing, her gaze transfixed on pulling off each individual petal and adding them to a rapidly growing pile to her left. Rachel tried again.

"What did James do now?"

Again, nothing. Except for Kat licking her hand, the three sat in what seemed like permanent silence. Rachel was about to give up when Lily spoke.

"Nothing. He didn't do anything. He's perfect." She started demolishing the rest of the flower, still not meeting Rachel's gaze.

"Well, I wouldn't go that far, but yeah. He's not bad." She smiled encouragingly, but was a bit frightened to see Lily like this.

"No, I mean it!" Lily threw the broken flower down, her voice quickly rising. "I did Merlin knows what last night-"

"Oh good, so you heard about the table dancing?"

"And the sitting on the moose!" Kat interjected, happy to help.

"And the jumping off of the moose." Rachel elaborated.

"And the jumping into James' arms." Kat finished.

Lily stared at them as if they had just told her that James and Graziana had eloped and Graziana was now pregnant. "Please tell you you're joking." Rachel and Kat's guilty faces were all that Lily needed to go completely over the edge.

"Well that's just wonderful, isn't it?" She stood up, brushing the dirt off, and began pacing furiously through the healthy flowers. "because not only have I damaged my reputation, embarrassed myself in front of nearly all my peers, and potentially given myself a concussion, but I also did all of this in front of the boy that I maybe, possibly, could be in 'like' with!"

Rachel sat in shock. She looked at Kat for backup, but she seemed more confused than anything else. "Lily, what-"

"Why does he have to be so perfect? It's not fair that he gets to be the one to act completely sane and I'm the one who acts like an utter moron! It's supposed to be the other way around, isn't it?"

Rachel tried to interject something here, but Lily was on a roll.

"And why does he have to be so infuriatingly dense?!" Most of the flowers were trampled now, becoming mush under Lily's stamping feet. "How could he not tell I like him? I mean, it's just not right! All he does is mope after me for years as I continue to dash his hopes to pieces; how can he subject himself to that day after day without suffering a meltdown?"

_You mean like the one you're having now? _Rachel thought to herself. Out loud she added, "James does bounce back quickly."

"Then, when I finally get to the point where James makes me feel something other than anger, he doesn't notice because something has to magically go wrong. Like Graziana shows up out of nowhere, or I get drunk and act like a complete idiot!"

"Now, I don't think that last one was magic's fault completely." Rachel reasoned. Lily stopped pacing.

"No, but you would think that James would see that I only came here and went through all this trouble because I…" She couldn't say it again. Twice in a frustrated rage was apparently all her mind and mouth could handle.

Rachel smiled. "You like him."

Lily moaned and buried her head in her hands. "No I don't!"

Kat giggled. Rachel pulled Lily back down to sit, reassuring her, "Alright, so maybe not a creepy stalker-ish like that Kat has for Sirius, but in an adorable way. The kind of like that makes your insides turn to goop when he smiles at you or when you're close to him."

Lily looked at her, her eyes beginning to tear up. "But if I like him, then he's won."

Rachel laughed, surprised. "Lily, I don't think it's a competition."

"Not usually, but with James it is." Lily shook her head. "I just know the moment he finds out about this, he's going to shout 'I knew it!' and then he's won."

"He's not going to do that. He'll be too excited to remember to shout. James isn't that smart. He can't even remember to shower on a regular occasion."

A smile began to warm its way onto Lily's face. "Thank you."

"You're quite welcome." Rachel grinned. "Now, when are you going to tell him?"

"Tell him?! Oh, no, no, no, no, no! I'm not going to tell him; that wasn't part of the plan!" Lily's face changed color several times, from red to green to pale and back again.

"But you have to!" Kat chimed in, her face distraught.

"Look, I'm not even sure if I want to punch him or kiss him yet. I can't tell him." Lily looked at the two of them in pure panic, her meltdown threatening to come back.

Rachel nodded. "That's ok; you don't have to." Her face turned serious for a second. "I know exactly how you feel." Lily met her eyes, comprehension dawning.

"Ah. Well. Good luck with that."

"Thanks." Neither looked at Kat. Kat didn't notice; she was too busy following the flight path of a robin at the bird feeder.

Just then all three of their stomachs growled simultaneously.

"Breakfast?" Rachel asked.

"Absolutely."

Kat stayed behind as the two of them made their way back through the garden to the house. Her breakfast was currently snacking at the bird feeder, never knowing that it was to be his last meal.

* * *

That's where I'm leaving off this time, readers. Because it was much longer than the last chapter and it accomplished waay too much, lol.

But for next chapter:

We'll see what the boys were up to while the girls had a heart-heart time in the garden.

And

There might be a couple of people going out on a date…or maybe a double date?!

Hmmm…

Until next time!!

Emmablk1


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Wow, it's been…years? Really? Well, then I am sadly remiss in giving you this chapter. And I'm sure that most of you have stopped reading by now. It's ok, I deserve it. BUT, I'm going to update anyway. Because I happen to like this story and think it deserves an ending. (I don't know how far away that ending is, but we're getting a lot closer.)

So if you're still out there, I'm still writing. Because fanfiction is cheaper than therapy.

* * *

"What the hell are they doing out there?" Remus and Sirius were hunched in the window, struggling to see the girls in the garden. Their hiding spot for eavesdropping was foolproof, except for the fact that the window was hidden behind a giant bush which also obstructed most of their view of the girls and they couldn't hear a thing they were saying. But, other than those small details, it was working splendidly.

"Who cares? My cheek still hurts." Sirius rubbed the red blotch on his face, continuing the same complaint he had had ever since Lily left the room.

Remus felt an exasperated sigh coming on. "And you're watching them just as intently as I am because you _don't_ care?

"I'm just waiting for one of them to start stripping or something."

"Sirius, this is a heart-to-heart, not some pervert's version of a slumber party."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Right, Mr. Peeping Tom, like you weren't waiting for the exact same thing." He turned back to the window, leaning his forehead against the glass. "Wait, did you just call me a pervert?"

"I'm not ever going to dignify that with an answer." Remus continued trying to catch anything through the window.

"But that is an answer." Sirius poked him.

Remus glared at him. "For your information, I'm trying to help James."

"By spying on the girls?"

Remus stood up, crossing his arms. "And what exactly are you doing at this precise window, Padfoot?"

Sirius stood as well, crossing his arms as well in order to mock his stature. "For your information, _Moony_, the closer I keep an eye on Kat, the better head start I can get." He looked out the window once more. "Shit. Where'd she go?"

"So it has nothing to do with the fact that Rachel is out there?" Sirius didn't respond, now filled with fear because he couldn't see where Kat was anymore. Remus sighed and left, heading towards James' room.

Sirius banged his head on the glass as the rest of the girls left the garden. "Damn it." He muttered to himself. "My cheek still hurts."

* * *

"I have a plan." Rachel whispered to Lily right before they stepped back inside the house. "Trust me, it's going to work."

Lily hesitated. "Wait; is this the good kind of plan or the bad kind of plan?"

"There are no bad plans, only bad executions of plans." Rachel's face broke out in a grin that rivaled Sirius' bad-boy smile.

"No, I'd say that climbing on top of a moose head and then waking up in bed with a boy you aren't sure you hate or love constitutes a bad plan." Lily countered, pushing open the back door.

Rachel waved away her comment. "You were drunk; there was no planning, only doing." She stopped and the two girls gave each other the same look. "That came out wrong."

* * *

A few hours later nothing new had developed. James refused to leave his room despite various coaxing from Remus, Lily was upstairs writing frantically in her diary, and Sirius was hiding from Kat. Kat was in the library with Remus, who had found the perfect spot for both books and the sun. All in all, everything was pretty much back to normal.

Rachel was so over normalcy.

She'd had to search all over the house and the grounds to find Sirius. In the end, she had merely stumbled onto his hiding place in the same bathroom they had hid in last night. She should have known; after all, Sirius was never above using the same trick twice.

He jumped half a foot in the air when the door opened. "Merlin woman! The least you could do is announce that it's you."

Rachel smirked. "I enjoy seeing you freak out over a girl, Siri, I do. That's not why I was trying to find you, though."

Raising an eyebrow, Sirius stepped a lot closer. "Oh, I see. You wanted some of this too, huh?"

She stifled a laugh, but managed to hold it together. "Yes." She mustered the word as seriously as she could.

Sirius was thrown. "I, er, what?" Rachel was enjoying this far too much. She began to play her role a little more seriously. She moved closer, placing her hand on his chest, playing with the neck of his shirt and batting her eyelashes.

"Oh, Sirius." She made sure to use his full name this time, so that she had all of his attention. "Surely you must have known how I felt, all this time." She leaned in, now putting both hands on the back of his neck and brushing her nose against his cheek. "Kiss me."

Sirius hesitated. He had never hesitated before. Normally, he would have kissed her before all of the talking started. There was this strange feeling; like alarm bells were going off in his head. He wasn't sure if it was because Rachel was James' older sister, or because…well, he might actually like her. He shuddered at the thought, and then was brought brutally back to the present as Rachel blew air on his face.

"Sirius?"

He swallowed, hard. This was either the greatest moment of his life, or the worst.

* * *

James was in the middle of making objects float around the room when Sirius walked in and ruined everything. By now, it was after three in the afternoon and James still hadn't gotten dressed. He was calmer, happier, and had unanimously made the decision with himself to live in his bedroom forever. Lily would never have to see him again, and he could agonize over their short, drunken kiss for forever. It was the perfect plan.

Sirius opened the door and immediately hit the vial of ink that had been floating by, spilling all over James' bed. There was a crashing sound as all the other random objects in the air fell when James lost his concentration.

"You spilled ink all over my bed, and you broke my favorite snow globe in one smooth move. And you wonder sometimes why we're friends." James complained, moving to pick up the shattered glass from off his floor.

Sirius was unconcerned, shutting the door behind him. "Oh lay off. You hated that snow globe; it was from Peru and it didn't even move." James didn't say anything, still wallowing in his misery.

There was a silence before Sirius spoke again. "So…"

James looked up at him with inky hands. "Padfoot?"

"Prongs." Sirius began, but he couldn't go on.

"Sirius."

"James."

James sighed. "Well, now that we know each other's names, maybe we can have a conversation?"

"Right." Sirius tried to start again, but found he was faltering. "Good news, or bad news first?"

James groaned. "Bugger. Alright, bad news."

Sirius steadied himself and blurted it all out at once. "Your-sister-and-I-are-going-out-on-a-date." He said very quickly.

James tensed and his grip on his wand got tighter. "You're…what?"

"Ah, but good news!" Sirius continued, knowing that his death was imminent unless he spoke very rapidly. "You and Lily are also going out on a date."

He had James cornered. Should he kill Sirius, or jump for joy? Decisions, decisions…He opted for just being shell-shocked.

"What? How? ...When?" He dropped his wand very close to the ink pool on his sheets. Sirius stepped over and graciously took it from the bed, just in case he decided to go with his other instincts and hex him to death.

"You're. Going. On. A. Date. With. Lily." Sirius repeated slowly, as if he were speaking to a madman. Which could be technically true, if he had still been in possession of his wand. "I'll let that sink in for a moment."

James slowly turned away from Sirius, sitting on the bed. The ink rushed down the sheets to meet him, but he didn't notice. "But," He stuttered, "I haven't even asked her out yet."

Sirius grinned. "Oh, that pesky problem? That's being taken care of." He winked, which was never a good sign.

* * *

"You want me to do what?" Lily stared at Rachel in disbelief. They were sitting in Lily's room. She was still holding the pen she had been using to write her very long diary entry (now over ten pages back-to-back).

Rachel shook her head. "See, you're missing the point. _I_ don't want you to do it; _you_ want you to do it. Well, I want you to do it too, but that's next to the point. The point is in a little box, and that is next to it, see?"

"I think I'm blind, because I don't see anything you're trying to tell me." Lily took a deep breath and tried again. "So you kissed Sirius and now-"

Rachel interrupted her. "Hold up, I did not kiss Sirius."

"But you said-"

"I said I didn't mean to. It wasn't supposed to happen like that; that was not the plan, ok? Besides, he kissed me."

Lily shook her head and smiled. "Is it your job to be confusing?"

"Yes, I'm very good at it. I'm a woman."

"Ok, so you _didn't _kiss Sirius. But now you two are going out on a date?" She set down her pen. This news was way more interesting than the angst she had been writing.

"A very certain type of date." Rachel corrected her.

Lily laughed. "What type of date?"

"The fake kind."

"Ah," Lily nodded. "I know that kind well. But you two kissed?"

Rachel buried her face in her hands. "That part wasn't supposed to happen! I was only going to go in, tease him a bit, and then tell him the plan. How was I supposed to know he would fall for it before I told him I was joking?"

Lily gave her a look that said it all; the pitied look. "Have you met Sirius?"

"He's not allowed to get to me this easily. I'm the older one! I seduce him, not the other way around!"

Lily nodded, but tried to get back to the point she was actually interested in. "Right, but you said something about James and me going on a date?" She was so excited at the prospect that she was feeling tingly all over. The pit in her stomach threatened to come up her throat.

Rachel snapped out of her moment of weakness and came back to the land of the sane. "Oh yeah, that too."

The beating in Lily's heart reached a fever pitch. "So he's going to actually ask me out?"

"Uh, no. We're just meeting the boys there."

"Oh." The beating calmed down considerably. "That's disappointing."

Rachel shrugged. "That's life."

"A date?"

"A date."

"Merlin help me."

* * *

There's more coming your way, in a fanfiction website near you!

A little sneak peek at unlucky Chapter 13:

The infamous double date happens; some bad times, some worse times, some feline times, and finally, something good might happen.

Also, I'll try to throw something in with a pineapple. You know, for fun.

Thanks for reading!

Emmablk1


	13. Chapter 13

There's cleavage in this chapter. I don't know what boy I was channeling while I wrote this, but he seems to be obsessed with a woman's breast. Sirius might have written part of this chapter. Don't blame me.

Be careful with the italics in this chapter, too. I tried to make them as clear as possible, but let me know if anything was confusing. The first part is in Sirius' memory, and then we get some of Rachel's thought pattern for about half a second. I can edit, however; let me know.

Also…those of you with ADD might have to concentrate extra hard on the happenings contained within this chapter. You've been warned.

Chapter 13

* * *

Sirius couldn't stop thinking about what had happened in the bathroom. The hiding? Yes, that was easy to dismiss, but the kissing? That was a whole other story.

"_Sirius?" _

_Screw it. He was going to kiss her; it didn't matter if she was the sister of James of the sister of Vincent Crabbe. (Ok, it might have mattered if she was Crabbe's sister—for one thing, she wouldn't have been as pretty.) Sirius did what he did best and stopped thinking. _

_It was the most wonderful half minute of his life. _

_Her lips were so soft, she smelled like honey, and oh Merlin…the way she tasted was better than_

"Sirius! Are you even listening to me?" The present Rachel, as opposed to the one he was remembering now, slammed her hand on the table between them. The noise startled him out of his daydreaming. That's right. They were on a double date with James and Lily in a nice London restaurant.

"Sorry Rach. I was thinking about…something tastier than this." He referred to the disgusting bit of cheese that was currently sitting on the table.

Rachel had the decency to blush, almost reading his mind. Damn him and that kiss; that wasn't in the plan. She should be dating that gorgeous Auror who lived in the flat next to her, not pining after one of her little brother's immature, loud, immature, womanizing, immature, seventeen year old friends. Nothing was going according to plan tonight, and it was slowly killing her.

She pushed those thoughts away for the moment and tried to focus on a retort. "Don't blame me for that; James was the one who ordered it." _Stupid James, who is now doing God knows what outside, leaving me alone with the other idiot_, Rachel thought to herself.

"Trying to order from a French menu without knowing French? What an idiot." Sirius bemoaned, now flicking random bits of cheese off the table in his best impression of a four-year-old.

Sirius flicked a small piece of cheese across the table, where it landed with a plop in the perfect spot between Rachel's breasts. "Oops." Sirius murmured, now completely mesmerized by her cleavage.

Rachel sighed and tried to cover herself. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea."

Just outside the door of the restaurant, James was thinking the same thing to himself. He was currently involved in a lip lock, and not with the girl he came with. He tried to move his head, but Graziana was holding on to him with her claws and he wasn't going anywhere until she said so.

This was bad. This was very, very bad. That was obvious. At this very moment Lily was in the bathroom inside and if she caught him…well, he might be losing more than Lily's devotion, that's all. Certain appendages might not live to see the morning.

"Oh James." Graziana sighed, finally letting him go. "You have no idea how long I've been dreami-"

James cut her off quickly, pushing her arms back to her sides and far away from him. "Yeah, look, that's great, but I happen to be in love with Lily, so if you could just leave?" He turned to head back to the table inside.

Graziana growled a disgusted noise, a sound that reminded him of a rhinoceros farting. James faced her again, arms crossed and eyebrow cocked as if to say 'What now?'.

"James. I _am_ Lily."

* * *

An hour previously Lily was still in her own body and was fighting the urge to throw up. She leaned over the sink in the bathroom at James' house, staring at her own reflection as if it might help calm her stomach down.

"You're not going to throw up. You're not going to throw up. Don't do it, Lily. I swear to Merlin…" Lily repeated her mantra over and over. Miraculously, it seemed to be helping.

Just then, the door to the bathroom opened and Kat spilled in, clutching her mouth. "Move over, gotta throw up!" She announced before pouncing on the toilet.

Lily flinched and shut her eyes to the sound of Kat's food coming up the wrong way. She clutched at the vanity. Unfortunately, she couldn't shut her nose to the smell.

Kat stood and flushed the toilet, wiping her mouth and grimacing. "Sorry about that. Apparently I don't like birds as much as I used to." She kicked the toilet bowl and went out the door as quickly as she came in, muttering "Stupid body" as she left.

Rachel showed up a few minutes later. Lily hadn't moved. "Whoa!" She exclaimed as she walked in. "Did you throw up?" She waved her wand and the smell of citrus slowly overcame the smell of dead bird.

The smell reminded Lily of something. "James smells like oranges." She muttered.

Rachel gave her a weird look, but let it pass. "Yeah, he told me about your throwing up on him the other night. He must have cleaned it up." She paused, then pulled Lily away from the vanity and pushed her toward the door. "Look, I've got some makeup you can use. And a mint. You can even borrow a dress, if you want." She pushed Lily out the door and headed to the stairs. "Just don't throw up on it."

A few minutes later Lily's stomach had settled to a minor case of the butterflies. The mint had helped, as did the makeup Rachel was now applying to her face.

"You looked beautiful." Rachel smiled, indicating the mirror. She put away her blush and started to pull back Lily's hair.

Lily smiled, feeling the butterflies jump a little in her tummy. "Aren't _you_ nervous?" She asked.

"Over Sirius?" Rachel laughed. "Please, it's a fake date; it's totally not serious." She paused as she began to stick bobby pins in Lily's hair. "Pun intended."

"Besides," She continued, poking Lily just a bit too hard with the next pin, "Tonight will tell me once and for all that Sirius is just a phase for me." She put her hands on Lily's shoulders and leaned down. "Tonight will be romantic. For you, not for me. That's the idea."

Lily laughed nervously. "I'm just beginning to think this was a bad idea. I feel like we're setting him up or something." She couldn't stop picking at her thumbnail as Rachel pulled and twisted her hair into an elegant up-do.

"Lily! No we're not. Trust me, if James had a spine, he would have asked you out already." Rachel chuckled.

"That's what I was afraid of." Lily muttered under her breath and, thankfully, Rachel hadn't heard her.

Half an hour later, after the girls had primped as much as was humanly possible, they found themselves down the street from the restaurant where they were meeting the boys. Lily was a goddess. No man would be able to resist her tonight; the little black dress, tendrils of red hair falling gracefully out of her twisted hair, and soft makeup could seduce somebody at twenty paces.

As for herself, Rachel had barely done anything. She wasn't even wearing a skirt, just a nice pair of jeans. She refused to make anything more out of this night. It was a fake date, and that's all it ever was going to be. Somewhere in the back of her mind she knew she was overanalyzing things, but then the other part of her mind that was constantly replaying The Kiss seized control and told her she was fine.

The pair stood quietly on the sidewalk, each consumed in her own insecurity. Then Rachel saw it, the perfect addition to Lily's perfect outfit. "You have to have one." She said, and Lily followed her gaze across the street to a flower shop.

"Oh, no. I look-"

"Like you need an accessory." Rachel finished. Before Lily could protest again, Rachel hurried off across the street, intent on finding a lily to match.

Lily bit her lip, but didn't follow. She could barley move; the butterflies in her stomach had transformed into something larger and were currently moving at an accelerated rate somewhere around her spleen. She settled for leaning against the brick wall, hoping something would help to calm her nerves.

She didn't take notice of the person walking past her, but she heard something they mumbled under their breath. There was a brief flash and suddenly the stomach rumblings were gone. She glanced down in surprise only to find that she was wearing a bright green tank top and jeans.

"Oh, Lily?" Someone to her left purred. Lily turned and saw herself, a sick sort of smile plastered on her lips. She opened her mouth in confusion, but didn't get the chance to say anything.

"Stupify!"

* * *

James went over the sequence of events in his head. He and Sirius had met the girls at the restaurant. Nothing had seemed that out of the ordinary. Lily's top was cut a little lower than normal, but he wasn't complaining about that. She might have been a little grabby, too, but who was he to stop her? That would just be rude.

Although…now that he thought about it, that was a little out of character for her.

From the way that Lily's hips were swaying as the group made their way to the table, James should have known something was different. Unfortunately for him, he was a boy and was therefore incapable of noticing small details around him.

Rachel should have noticed something was off, but her friendship radar was malfunctioning. Sirius was actually being…nice. And he looked like he actually dressed up for once, slacks and everything. He couldn't seem to stop staring at her. Something was wrong with him.

It wasn't until Lily's foot grazed James' leg that he even noticed something was off. He jumped half a foot in the air when it happened, but neither his best friend nor his sister was aware. They were in a whole other world, lost in an entirely different date than the one James and Lily were on at that moment.

Lily looked across the table at James and he noted a definite gleam that hadn't been there before. Usually there was frustration, humor, or bemusement glittering there, but never blatant lust. Suddenly he was incredibly uncomfortable.

"Something wrong?" Lily practically purred, her foot inching higher on his leg. She leaned towards him and James fought the urge to scramble backwards out of his chair. "I can make you feel better, promise."

"Oh, I believe you." James sputtered, trying to politely push her foot down off him. He spent about thirty seconds pondering why people thought footsie was sexy, but that quickly left his mind when he realized that Lily was licking her lips rather slowly and still had her eyes set on him. James didn't look away, but he nudged Sirius instead, who didn't respond.

Sirius was too busy staring at Rachel, who was doing her best to look anywhere but across the table. The waiter came by and James pointed to something on the menu; a few moments later a green stinky cheese landed on their table, which finally gave Sirius and Rachel something mutual to stare at.

Simultaneously, it seemed, things were going wrong. The four sat in almost complete silence; brother and sister both focused on not looking at their dates while their dates were hardly looking anywhere else.

James took a chance and glanced over at Sirius, a super secret glance that told Sirius all he needed to know. This was a glance that had been perfected over many bad dates; the glance that told him to abort mission.

Sirius turned to Lily, whose gaze on James was so intense she hadn't blinked in three minutes, and casually voiced his opinion. "What's wrong with your face, Lil?"

Lily blinked rapidly, coming out of her trance to stare at Sirius. "My face?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with it?" Sirius said deadpan; it was all in his face, that's what made this trick work. Rachel narrowed her eyes, turning from Sirius to Lily. Sirius knew he only had a few seconds to make sure Lily believed him before Rachel would uncover the entire operation.

"What's wrong with what?" Lily repeated, her hand patting down her cheeks as if she were concerned scales had grown in place of her blush.

"It's just that…" Sirius intentionally trailed off, shrugging. "Nah, never mind. I'm sure it's nothing."

Lily jumped up suddenly, mumbled something about going to the bathroom, and was out of the room in a flash. Sirius smirked, turning to James.

"And that, my friend, is the only way to get your date to ditch you." Sirius would have bowed, but he thought that might have been overdoing it a little.

James seemed immensely relieved. "You're the best." He clapped Sirius on the shoulder. Slapping a couple of galleons down on the table, he rose, preparing to hightail it out of there before Lily got wind that he was ditching her.

"Wait a second!" Rachel stopped him before he could get a few steps away. "You two are complete assholes! She's the girl of your dreams, James; where are you going?"

James and Sirius exchanged looks, then turned back to Rachel. "There's something wrong with her, Rach." James started.

"She's just nervous!"

"She looked as though she couldn't decide between eating me and mating with me!" James insisted, a wild look in his eyes.

"That's what praying mantises do." Sirius added, rather unhelpfully.

Rachel fixed her brother with her best motherly glare. "If you walk out on her, so help me Merlin, I swear I will be the one eating you."

James stopped for maybe half a second before proclaiming, "That's a chance I'm willing to take." He made his way across the restaurant, weaving through the sea of tables and a confused waitress.

Rachel turned back to Sirius in a huff, who was shrugging the whole situation off, picking at the cheese on the table. "Look at it this way," He told her, "at least he left money this time."

* * *

James had hoped to get more than five steps out of the restaurant without being accosted. Apparently, though, nothing was going to go right for him tonight, as Graziana Harding stopped him as soon as the door closed behind him.

"James! Oh, thank Merlin." She seemed more frazzled and less put together than usual, but this didn't concern James. He was bent on escape.

"Wonderful." He decided to go the direct route this time, because he wanted to get home to barricade himself in his room before Lily could get to him after she'd found out what he'd done. "Look, I've just had the worst date of my life with the girl I've been in love with since first year. Can we do this later?"

A look James had never seen on Graziana's face before washed over her; pure astonishment. "Really? Since first year?"

"A moot point, that." James tried to sidestep her, but Graziana was having none of that. She followed his movement, mimicking him and causing his inability to leave this conversation. He sighed. "Yes, I've been in love with Lily Evans since I was eleven. Can you leave me alone now?"

He expected her to storm off, furious at having been deceived for so long. He expected her to at least fly off the handle. Any number of reactions he expected left him completely defenseless for what really happened.

Graziana reached up and brought his lips crashing down onto hers. James stood there, terrified for several seconds. After the initial shock wore off, he found himself increasingly terrified, more so than before. It wasn't because this was the worst moment of his life, getting kissed by someone he hated.

James was terrified because it was the best kiss he had ever had. And it was with the one person in the world he couldn't stand.

* * *

"James. I _am_ Lily."

With those four words, the night transformed from the worst date James had ever had to the weirdest one. It took no time at all to round up Sirius and Rachel, who were for some reason sitting at the table staring at Rachel's breasts, for consultation.

"Obviously you're not Lily." Sirius stated the obvious the best he could, gesturing to Graziana. "I mean, I've been hours, maybe even weeks lusting after this perfect body. That's Graziana Harding; Lily's no comparison."

"What do you mean by no comparison?" Lily/Graziana and Rachel exclaimed at the same time. The pair looked at each other. "Maybe she really is Lily." Rachel muttered.

"Look, I know this is hard to believe, but I was out here when Graziana ambushed me. I have no idea how or why she…" Lily/Graziana trailed off as Lily herself walked out of the restaurant, making her way quickly to the ever growing group.

"Jamsie? What's going on? Why is she here?" Graziana/Lily pouted, but there was a gleam of pure menace behind her green eyes. She clung to James' arm, taking the chance to press any available bit of her body she had onto him.

"Well, that settles that." Rachel announced and Sirius nodded.

"That's definitely Graziana. I'd recognize that maneuver anywhere." He grinned over to Rachel. "Maneuver 12. Renders almost any man speechless." Rachel ignored him.

"I told you something was wrong." James insisted, but his heart wasn't in it. He couldn't stop staring at Graziana/Lily, who was rubbing against him like a cat in heat. He couldn't help but respond to her, the girl he'd wanted for so long, now practically begging him to touch her.

"James!" Lily spat, hitting the back of his head. James' eyes nearly rolled all the way back from the force of it. Immediately he snapped out of it.

"I can't help it if I'm attracted to you Lily!" He said loudly.

Lily/Graziana's eyes softened just a little. "Aww, that's sweet. Now stop being a pervert!"

"Stop dangling your goodies in front of me!" James practically yelled.

"The man has a fair point." Sirius contended. Rachel tried to stomp on his foot, but missed as Sirius dodged her attack.

"Give me back my body." Lily demanded, glaring at Graziana. Seeing herself act like this was incredibly disturbing. "And stop being like that!"

Graziana glanced over at Lily, who got a distinct chill from having her own eyes stare herself down. "Being like what, Lily dear?"

"The female embodiment of all that is right with this world?" Sirius supplied. He, like James, couldn't take his eyes off Lily's body.

Lily contained her urge to strangle him. She turned to Graziana. "I don't know where you've stashed my wand, but when I find it I'm going to-"

"Okay!" James interceded, taking the moment of awkward silence that occurred after he interrupted to disentangle himself from Graziana's rather tight embrace. "Obviously what we have here is a spell. All we need is the counter-spell and we can hope no one has a nightmare from all this."

Everyone turned to look at Graziana, who smirked. The sight set everyone else on edge. "There isn't a counter-spell." She finally said, after a tense moment.

Two things happened in quick succession. For one, Lily launched herself at her own body, intent on doing bodily harm and not caring that she might have to pay for it later. Graziana was knocked to the ground, but quickly regained her bearings after Lily grabbed hold of her own hair and pulled until several strands came out.

At the same time, James, having sensed Lily's immediate reaction, leaped out to catch her and landed instead on the pavement. He completely missed his target, rendering years of quidditch practice null. The entire left side of his face kissed the sidewalk and he knew he was going to bleed. He did manage to trip Lily, however, which is how the two girls ended up on the ground, acting more like cats then Kat.

Then, just as suddenly as the fight began, it ended. Cords came out of both Rachel's and Sirius' wands as they managed to wrestle apart the girls and retract their claws. Rachel stared at Sirius in surprise; she hadn't expected him to react so quickly. For a moment Sirius' face was hardened, a look that screamed prefect and conformist non-rule breaker. He could have been an auror. Then it softened again and he was smiling.

"I never thought I'd get a chance to tie you up." He grinned down at Graziana. "At least, not without a bed somewhere nearby." He had changed so suddenly that Rachel wasn't sure if she had seen it at all.

James' hand was caught up in the cords containing Lily, placed rather unfortunately against her inside thigh. Immediately, he pulled at the cords, but couldn't get his hand back. Lily blushed deeply, a look that was never seen on Graziana's face. Lily's own face looked furious at the current situation.

"This isn't what it looks like." James faltered, attempting to look anywhere but at Lily. "I mean, I have no idea how…what…I didn't grab…" Rachel sighed and grabbed her brother's arm, yanking him away from the girl and her bindings.

"OW!" James shrieked, cradling his hand, which had a nasty case of robe burn. He glared at his sister, who could care less.

"Oh, get a bandage and have a nice cry." Rachel spat at him, frustrated by the night's turn of events.

"Can we focus on what's more important here?" Lily demanded from her uncomfortable position on the ground. One arm was pinned behind her back and was going numb.

Sirius stepped forward, grabbing Graziana and hauling her to her feet. "All right, good news and bad news here." He motioned to Lily. "First, the bad news. Get really comfortable in that new body of yours, Lil. At least you went up a cup size." Lily opened her mouth to retort, but Sirius continued speaking.

"The good news? Glad you asked. The good news is, James finally got to second base!" Everyone glared at him, but in true fashion, he didn't bat an eye. He gave James a thumbs up. "Congrats, mate!"

* * *

This chapter took a lot out of me. I started with something very different, something that matched what I talked about before, in the last chapter. Hope this lived up to some of your expectations for this fic. I quite enjoyed it.

Until next time,

Emmablk1


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